Ephemera

Garden 2011

2011-08-03T14:21:00.000-07:00

I have finally started getting things together in the garden. We had a rough start this year, but things are actually going pretty well now.

We started out pretty much where we ended last year:

It was actually kind of funny with the rain. I was waiting for a three day window of no rain. A day with no rain to do the rototilling and a couple days prior with no rain so that the soil could drain a little. One day, I was finished studying at around 7 pm ... I figured it had not rained that day or the day before AND I had an hour before the sun went down ... SCORE! :)

In the back left-hand corner, there was a nice little surprise left from last year. I had planted two artichoke plants the year prior. One of them did pretty well, while the other really did nothing. Surprisingly enough, the one that did pretty poorly came back... with a vengeance

It was a little sad though ... the one that did well the year before put out a couple leave, but ended up dying. :(

I had started a lot of plants this year. About 30 tomatoes plants of different varieties. Several zuccini, cucumber, a couple different winter squash varieties, 30 bean plants each of two different varieties.

It FINALLY got warm enough to put it all out. Within 2 days, EVERY SINGLE PLANT had been eaten by either slugs or (in the case of the beans) rabbits. I was NOT happy.

I went ahead and bought some tomatoe and squash plants from a nursury (grrrr) and got them in. We also put in three new artichoke plants. The rabbits/slugs left the tomatoes alone, but did in a few of the others. All in all, we ended up with all the tomatoes, one winter squash, one zucc, one summer squash that was supposed to be a zucc, but is something else, one lemon cuc. Not fantastic, but should be enough to enjoy for the summer.

The middle bed houses most of the tomotoes in the back and the unknown (but tasty) summer squash in the front. The right bed has the winter squash and lemon cucumber at the back, a chocolate pepper, hot pepper and zuccini in the middle and a few more tomatoes in the mid-front. The section without cover are some potatoes that sprouted in the kitchen... heh.

The left hand bed has the beans and a section of weed still waiting to be removed... :P

A few more pics:

Side view

New artichoke plant

Unknown summer squash

Winter squash, lemon tomatoes, zucchini

First tomato plants

Yellow beans

View from the back

Hard to see, but asparagus fans

Potatoes

Unknown summer squash

Unknown summer squash and what was left of the first cherry tomato harvest

Proto-zucchini bread

Spinning world goes round and round...

2011-06-05T17:37:00.000-07:00

Not too long ego, I decided I wanted to graduate from a drop spindle to a spinning wheel.

I was on Craigslist and found a walking wheel for only $15 dollars! Of COURSE I had to get it.

Unfortunately, there was no spindle, it needs some leather replaced and I decided I REALLY wanted a treadle.

I mentioned this on Facebook and ... SURPRISE... someone has just what I wanted for sale. So now I have two!

I played around a little and then a friend wanted some silk spun up. 1/2 pound of silk later...

The picture shows about 1/4 of the total yield. This is a little heavier than lace weight. It really was a joy to spin.
I used tinker toys to make a niddy-noddy. It is kind of cool, since you can spin it to put tension on the yarn. I steamed it and then let it dry under tension to se the twist. .

Once set, the hank (1 of 4) was ready to send off to its new home :)

After that was done, I started spinning up some of wool I had. It is absolutely lovely. I do not want to spin up too much until I have a client who wants it or a project in mind.

I then picked up some (non-white) alpaca roving at a local store.

The color on the bottom one did not come out true. It is a lovely grey mix. The dark chocolate is pretty true. I started spinning that up into some light lace weight (about 20 wpi), some of which I plied up to make some ply to do some glittens.

Single strand

Double ply. Color (again) not very true.

New Camera's are FUN...

2010-06-17T18:25:00.000-07:00

As a lot of people know, I have decided to invest in a really good camera. Even two days in, it has been worth it. That is not to say my pictures are great, but I certainly am remembering the fun of being able to play with aperture, shutter-speed, etc. Just some samples from the last (first?) couple of days.

The girls:

The cats:

The Tree's:

The yard:

FINALLY! It is ready...

2010-03-31T23:27:00.000-07:00

...ready to use... Task 2 - BRING IT ON! :)

It was quite the chore. I really thought it would never be working. We got it all over here, only to end up in a month long decision making process as to where it was going to be set-up.

We finally picked the spot... we were going to have it run parallel to the house. We hired the electrician to come put in the wiring. After some back and forth, it was decided that it was ok to install a plug on the pumps.

So... pool in general area, pump has a plug... 220V installed... check. We decided to try the pump. It was a good thing we did... it did not take long to realize that the system was busted. It was the water pouring out of the bottom of the heater that was the dead give-away.

Apparently, the heater needs the tube to actually be ATTACHED in order for it to work right. It did not take us (the royal 'us') to fix that and get it all put back together... gave it a day to make sure it was all hooked up, gave it a test and, voila!... everything seemed to be ready to go.

We decided to change the orientation of the pool because the way it ended up was a lot more level. It would have taken a lot of work to even it out the other way.

We got it filled... it took about a day and a half with one hose, but it was full! Unfortunately, it was also sinking into the ground in a way that was, shall we say... not good. Apparently, the mass of the weight sits on the OUTSIDE of the feet. We then spent a day or so draining the pool... *sigh*.

Once it was drained, we dug out around each of the feet, installed 2x8 planks for the feet to sit on. Once that was done, it was just a matter of getting it filled again and turning on the system. We had a bit of a problem the first day with the heater. There is a little dial inside the heater that sets the pressure at which the heater turns off if the pressure drops. For some reason, it was set all the way open, so there was not enough pressure to allow it to turn on. Once I figured that out, it was just a matter of waiting a few days for the water to get warm enough to be able to swim.

I have been swimming since Sunday and it is wonderful. I started out with about 10 minutes. The next day, I was able to swim for 15. Yesterday, I turned up the current a bit and swam for 30 minutes. Today, I was up to 35. Tomorrow, I am going for the grand total of 45. We will see how that goes. :)

It makes me feel so much better to be exercising again. I only hope I do not disappoint myself and stop. Going to work on that.

Reminds me "Why"

2010-03-25T12:28:00.000-07:00

People ask me how I can do what I do for a living... I think they only see the death.

Which is why it is nice to every once in a while to see the other side of it all:

"This patient is a 9-year old girl. She was having trouble reading her schoolwork. She is now literally the top student in her class! Thanks for the great tissue."

I love my job.

It is a fine line between Gingerbread and Pumpkin Pie

2010-03-17T22:03:00.000-07:00

I made gingerbread the other day... not the cookies, but the cake. Of course, I could not simply follow the recipe... oh no... that would be too easy!

So lets see... increase the ginger and cinnamon (they never put in enough of that)... oops... no 'light' molasses, so what can we do? Hummm.. ok, dilute the regular molasses with some light corn syrup... that might work.

It actually turned out ok. Not enough spice flavor for me... after I was done, I realized that I really did not want gingerbread but spice cake.... heh.

I tried another batch yesterday. I went with the higher level of ginger and cinnamon, the diluted molasses and added nutmeg, allspice and cloves.

Result? A ginger bread cake that tastes like pumpkin pie... this time it seemed a little dry to me... I think I need to cut back the baking time, but it does give me an idea... maybe I will add some pumpkin next time!

Almost Party Time!

2010-02-28T13:30:00.000-08:00

Jake came for a visit (yah!). So far, we have not done much (unless you count three trips to Costco for swim meet supplies), but today, Reg and Dharma are heading down to help us eat up the special Carne Asada Jake brought up from the OC. Sis and the girls were supposed to come, but life intruded, much to my sorrow :(, but we will package some of the goodies up and drop it off for them, on the morrow.

Another exciting thing: I got to use my new birthday gift food processor... it is amazing! I made the salsa last night in about 15 minutes (usually takes at LEAST an hour) and this morning, I prepped all the fajitas vegies in about 15 minutes, including clean-up! The pic below is just 1/3 of the vegies!

The salsa turned out a little less 'chunky' than I like, but I think that is just a matter of me practicing and putting smaller amounts in at a time.

From T-Mobile Pictures

Right now, the chicken is in cooking ... once that is done, I will put the enchiladas together and that should be about it. The boys are making a last minute shopping run... so it looks like we are about ready! Weeeeeeeeee!

And the seasons just keep turning...

2010-02-28T13:01:00.000-08:00

It is that time of year again. I was going to use some old scavenged windows and build a greenhouse... But then I saw this at Bi-Mart:

For the price, I could not have bought the hardware and lumber I would need to build the greenhouse. This one can be put up and taken down each year. I had started some seeds last week in the house. No sign of life, but after one day in the greenhouse, things are already starting to pop ... I figure the greenhouse accelerated them by at least two days.

Now I just have to get the garden ready to accept them in a few weeks... :)

It is never JUST a quick fix...

2010-02-22T23:31:00.000-08:00

I am really not ignoring people (intentionally) right after asking for writing suggestions. As is the story of my life, as soon as I do something like that, things suddenly get out of control.

Today's saga...

After a weekend spent in an emergency mold-remediation party at a family members house, we had reached the 'procrastination wall' on fixing the floor under the toilet... what a joy!

Once the toilet was pulled (and the pipe stuffed with paper-towels to keep debris out), the linoleum was pulled up... I am not sure which was more disgusting... the rotten wood (seen below in black) or the old linoleum that was never removed... what in the WORLD were those 70's people thinking!

During the tear-out, we also found evidence that at least one of the walls had one of the mirrors that had a red mottled design all throughout it. And the LOVELY original wallpaper!

The farther into it, the worse it got ... and I am not just talking about the quality of my pictures (sorry about that!).

But as time went along, progress was made:

Of course, with that much damage, the cast iron flange was destroyed, so there was much blue language flowing freely during the closing phase, but, eventually... Success!

I will have to say, however, that as spring cleaning goes, it is a LOT easier to clean the toilet when you have plenty of access to all sides... and I am sure my neighbors were ever so appreciative...

We still have to pull the toilet again to do some shimming and lay the linoleum, but that will be a story for another day... :)

Suggestions log...

2010-02-13T22:03:00.000-08:00

In a conversation with Qual (Qual-person not Qual-kitty), I was explaining to her that I really enjoy writing, but that it is hard for me to come up with things to write about. Part of the reason I do not keep up with the blog as well as I should because I do not feel I really having interesting things to write about. She indicated that perhaps my daily minutia is more interesting to people than I think, so I have decided to try a little experiment.

I am going to be 'religious' (heh) about checking the blog comments for a couple of months. If someone has a suggestion for me to write about, please comment and make the suggestion. The topics could be anything from a question they would like me to answer to simply a topic they would like to suggest that I write about. The more research I have to do on it, the better! Anything is fair game... questions, opinion topics or just plain old informational writing.

Help me out folks... I need to get my writing skills up and ready for the MCAT essay section, so start throwing things at me.

Task 5 - Two down... sort of...

2010-02-13T19:24:00.000-08:00

On my list of 5 Tasks for the year (Ephemera: Time for reflections is over... now it is DO IT time.) two of my Task5 UFO's were two small cross-stitch pictures ... a present for someones mom. Tonight, I finished the cross-stitch phase...

I say sort of, because although the cross-stitch part is done, they still need to be made into pillows... and then sent off.

We will see how long THAT takes me.

But I thought...

2010-02-12T13:41:00.000-08:00

Lots of time spent driving to various donors equals a lot of time to listen to talk show podcasts.

Listening to the Thom Hartmann (02/08/2010) show a few days ago gave me a particularly strong moment of "But... wait!" when Thom's guest Dale Robinson of the www.teaparty.org and self proclaimed 'founder' of the teaparty movement said:

You can have a single payer health care system without the government involvement... my solution is to have a heath savings account with a health savings co-op... where the American people would own a part of...

Ok... but wait... I thought that was what the government is supposed to be... a co-op that the American people OWN.

Granted, with the way things are, it is NOT that way. The recent pole ( Poll information )showing that 80%+ of the American people think that their representatives are more interested in the special interests than their constituents and want the entire congress kicked out. I get that only 8% of the people are interested in having their representatives re-elected. But instead of saying "we should start another program that the people own", why not focus on taking back the program we ALREADY own?

Time for reflections is over... now it is DO IT time.

2010-02-12T00:41:00.000-08:00

So the new year came... and went... my birthday came... and went.... both are big times of reflection for me. What do I want out of the year to come... my future, etc.

This year, I have decided to start small. I have decided to wait one more year before starting school. I have a job I enjoy... not something I would consider as a career, but something that I think I will be able to continue enjoying for another year. It is rewarding and it gives me free time (sometimes!) to do what I want to do.

This is not to say that there are not a lot of things I can be doing during this year to prepare for school. So that is Task (capitol "T") one.

Task 1: Taking the MCat once more is job one. Starting to review year one books.

Additionally, I have let my health get out of control. My asthma is not good and other than work, I have been sedentary. So...

Task 2: Get back on track, healthwise. Everything is on track for getting my committed exercise program started March 1. Until then, I am going to start some less formal things... back to yoga!

Another reason I want to wait another year is that there are a lot of things I want to get into place with the house. We need a new roof, part of the house jacked up, the bedroom remodel, new bathroom, kitchen remodel, old bathroom remodel. A couple new windows, a deck and my greenhouse. The barn needs some more work. That is a lot of work and I would like it all done before I start school. I want a nice nest so that I can concentrate.

On a smaller scale, I want to organize. Soooo...

Task 3: Organize... sort, toss, give away, scan the paperwork.... this one is already in progress... over the past couple of days, I have dedicated an hour a day to getting boxes unpacked, clothes sorted. It helps that there are some tenants who need a lot of things...

Task 4: Remodeling

My last goal for this year is to get all the craft projects caught up. I have everything I need to do it... now I just need to get it all done.

Task 5: Craft UFO's (Unfinished Objects) - it would depress me too much to list them all, so I will just post them as I finish them. Heh...

Basically, I am considering this my year of batting clean-up... getting all of my hanging chads knocked off in order to clear the way for starting another chapter all fresh. I am going to be using this blog for accountability... I will label based on Task number as I go...

Way Back Machine

2009-07-30T20:13:00.000-07:00

I was going through looking at some old photos and came across a bunch of the pictures taken of the property and houses as we were cleaning it/them up. It was sort of fun, so I thought I would post a trip through memory lane.

This is my tree... I love this tree... I think this tree is probably why I bought the property. This photo was in fact that photo I took of it the first day we came to look.

It has been trimmed since then, but I asked that they do as little as possible to just make it safe. It actually makes me a little sad that I live in the big house now, since that means I do not have my tree... lol...

The picture was taken from the side of the big house facing the small one... the leaves in the upper left corner were from the black walnut that grew between the houses. Unfortunately, that tree had to be removed. That was a sad day.

The picture on the right was taken a little while after the first one... it is of the rest of the yard, under the big tree as if you were standing about where the cars are in the first picture.

I thought I would regret the tree(s) once the leaves started falling and I had to do a lot of clean-up, but I actually look forward to fall and get a little impatient when they do not fall off fast enough... I mulch them up and use them to cover the garden for the winter. Along with a layer of spring grass mulch, they make a great erosion control for the rains and add a lot of nutrients to the soil in the spring when I till them in.

The two pictures above are of the front yard for the picture to the left. This picture was also taken the first day we looked at the property. The truck and the shelter are not there now and the garage has been redone.

What is not visible are the old broken windows on the side of the house and the true 'beauty' of the garage just does not shine through. I say that in all humor. The garage actually was leaning significantly to the right (facing) and it was not as solid as it looks in this picture.

As you go around the back of the garage, you get to see a great view of the alien species which has come to earth to take over... they disguise themselves as black berry bushes:

The blackberries in this picture were beaten back but not concored. My tenants did not keep on top of it, so many of these have returned. I have actually been working on them again, but am going slow since they are currently full of berries. I figure I might as well get as much jam out of the evil bastards as I can before I KILL KILL KILL... erm... get rid of them.

A little to the left of that, on the other side of the blackberry mound, is what was originally part of the the horse paddock. I ended up moving the fence to open that section up to the backyard of the little house to use as a garden, but getting through the blackberries was a real trial... for all of us.

Keep going left from this point and you get to the gate into the paddock itself. It was at this gate that we put the new fence across, effectively cutting the paddock in half. Once we got the blackberries knocked back, of course... interestingly enough (at least to me), is that the blackberries actually made sort of a natural line at the logical point to put in the new fence.

If you can squeeze in through that gate, if you turn towards the garage, you get this view from other half of the paddock... what is now the actual paddock, now that the other part was turned into garden.

Turn a little to the left and you are looking straight to the back of the smaller house.
This was where we started clearing this out.

The only thing we could do was wade in with hedge clippers and a scythe. And a couple of youthful helpers... always an appreciated necessity.

Well... enough for tonight, I guess... this has been fun, so I think I will make it a continuing series... heh ...

My tenants need to be evicted... seriously...

2009-07-27T21:40:00.000-07:00

Seriously... how can people live their lives entirely on the premise that NOTHING is ever their fault?

Over the past 16 months, my tenants have paid the rent on time (meaning within the 10 day grace period I allow) three times... 3!

Twice they have bounced the rent check... both of those times, they did not even give us the bogus check until after the 15th. Once was the last week of the month.

Then there was the big blow-up when Duffus was kicked out of the house for several months and Dorkus gave us all sorts of reasons why she could not pay the rent on time... he was abusive, he broke in and stole stuff, someone (probably him, according to her) took her ATM card and cleared out the bank acount. Of course, none of these reasons explain why she had not paid the rent the FIRST three weeks of each of the month... and they were interspersed with wailing about how all she wanted was for him to come back... which was ALSO interspersed with stories of the crack whore he left her for. She was buying him minutes for his cell phone so she could leave him messages to come home. We agreed to let her pay the rent in two payments... the first at the first and the second by the 15th. It was supposed to be temporary to let her get her feet back under her.

She paid the first month on the 5th and the 20th... then it was the 10th and the 25th...

So, three or four months ago, he gets fired (for sleeping in his car at his job site) and ends up moving back in ... no job... at home all day... back yard garden area, which they get a 25 dollar per month rent discount to keep care of, has become totally overgrown with massive 10 foot high thistles starting to flower and spread. In the 16 months that they have been getting the $25 discount, they have mowed the front 3 times... the back got mowed so often that no one noticed that the septic was blocked (by them flushing tampons/candy wrappers) so that shit/toilet paper/candy wrappers piled up at the clearance vent for 4 months.

I requested that they please clear the back yard up SOON... four weeks later, nothing has been done. I told them they had a week (until Monday) and then I would hire it done and they would be charged $150. Monday comes and goes... we go out to start cleaning it up and he comes out, TOTALLY sulking... we leave for an hour and he (using the tools I went and got to do the job) was finished by the time we got back.

So, as the progression goes, they did not pay the first check until the 13th (I had to go ask for it) and said they would have the rest by last week... so of course, today being the 27th, we had to go over and ask for it.

"Next month, we will honor the two checks, but the first has to be to us by the 5th and the second, by the 15th or we will charge the late fees as defined in the rental agreement. The month after that, you need to start paying on the first."

His answer?

"I really do not apriciate your attitude!"

If it has been me, my answer would have been:

"Which attitude? The one where we did not charge you late fees for the 13 months you have been late? Or the attitude where we still allow you to write checks for the rent after bouncing 2 of them within 5 months? Or the attitude that still gives you the $25 dollar a month discount when, in 16 months, you have only mowed 3 times and only part of the yard at that?"

He also threw out:

"We are living with you right on top of us and you are on my case"

Right... asking him to clean the weed patch out so that the rodents and other pests would not have as easy access to his house ONCE in 16 months is '... on his case... "

I guess me having Dorkus over to show her how to make grape jelly, using MY equipment, sugar, pectin and jars (since they did not have money for their own) is living on top of them... I guess our ignoring the eggs they steal and when they cleaned off my pea plants is living right on top of them. I guess bending over backwards to accomodate their financial issues is living right on top of them.

Some other little gems:

Duffus is on parole from an assault and battary charge that got him 70-months... (yes... 70!) ... his reason? He dissed the chief of polices son so the chief of police made it so he got sent to jail for 70 months... of COURSE it is not his fault.

Dorkus got tired of him using the rent money to buy his beer and pot and got into a fight with him... he calles her horrible names, scares her daughters (his neices) and then goes out to sabatage her car.... of COURSE it is not his fault.

I have to go over to get the first of the rent checks on the 13th and then we have to go over today (the 27th) to get the one they promised we would have last week. His response? "I do not apriciate your attitude saying you have to track me down to get the rent..." Did I mention it is the 27th of the month and we have to go to THEM to get the rent? ... Of COURSE it is not his fault.

He gets fired for sleeping in his car at a job site.... assuming that is true and it was NOT about sleeping off being stoned or drunk (at the job site), it does make me wonder why his brother kicked him out of the house (which was where he was living when the crack whore he left Dorkus for kicked him out) .... I bet it was, of COURSE, not his fault.

I have even reached the point where I have no sympathy for her... when she kicked him out earlier in the year, her reason was because he had his hands around her neck and scared the girls... "I have to think of the girls first... "

How odd that he is now living in the house again and, within 6-weeks of him moving back in, both of her girls are living with their Dad (his brother).

I need to evict them... seriously...

Kitchen Remodel... The Beginning

2009-03-27T17:27:00.001-07:00

Here is a project I have mixed feelings over... I WANT to remodel... I WANT new cabinets... I WANT to learn cabinet making skills... but I get tired just thinking about it.

Not so much the work, but the planning. I really have no idea what I am doing. I do not know what are good ideas, what are dumb ones. I look at the IKEA site and feel like I am way out of my league.

Oh well... whatever I come up with in NO way can be as bad as what is here... at worst, I will just have to do it again later to fix whatever bonehead mistakes I make... heh.

So lets begin. Here are the pics of the current kitchen:

Because the doors are right at the main cabinet wall, I do not think I can get too fancy with these. I think they are going to be pretty standard, although I would like to add in a dishwasher and a trash compactor (maybe a composting unit, instead of the dishwasher).

The counter needs to come up a few inches... it hurts my lower back to do dishes at the height it is now.

I did not get a really good view picture, but I want to move the stove over a little (to the right as you look at the picture) and put a counter coming off the wall by the door... coming into the kitchen. That would give me a nice working space. I am thinking of then putting a counter with cabinets off the right hand side of the stove along the wall as well, turning the fridge around and making a cabinet for it to sit in as well, with storage over the top. It will block of the built in pantry a little, but I think with some judicious use of a saber saw, I can make it so I can still access that space.

I think I am going to run a pot-filler faucet to the stove as well. The extra counter space and the pot filler would be nice for canning. A vent has to go in there as well and it would be nice to have a spice rack or cabinet near the stove. Maybe a crock for the utensils and a hanging rack over one of the counters for the pans.

More Signs of Spring!

2009-03-27T17:13:00.001-07:00

The law actually NEEDED mowing! It truly is spring...

Fortunately, I am not moving the OTHER 3 acres yet. The goats are handling that for me...

On a side note, we ARE using the equipment shed for equipment this year... and the garden looks a lot smaller than it seems when you are standing right on it.

Here we have the babies on their first day out of the house... they are very happy babies... just a blowin' in the wind.

And of course... first day in sandals!!!!! My feet are SO happy... now I just have to remember where I put the broom... there really is a walkway under the grass clippings.

New Favorite Reading! Plangarden...

2009-03-25T10:05:00.001-07:00

I do not have a lot of blogs and sites that I frequent, but I have found a new one to enjoy. Plangarden (a twitter find) has hooked me with a cute and helpful article on Tomato Pilates - Exercise for your seedlings Tomato Pilates - Exercise for your seedlings. Funny stuff :)

Todays Garden Update...

2009-03-23T21:41:00.000-07:00

Not too much to tell... most of the day was taken up with plumbing issues, but some things got done...

Planted the beans and the garlic...

Moved the fence posts ... I originally put them right up against the planter, which meant no back-entrance to the plot... I found myself climbing on the planter and figured that since I would slip and fall just as the lettuce was starting to sprout, I would be preemptive... so, now have a slip point... well.. two, actually, since it HAS to be symmetrical, ya know...

It was kind of cool to see the first of the potato plants starting to peak out:

The mulch from two years ago is amazing... some leaves, some grass clippings, some horse manure w/sawdust... BLACK GOLD!!!!!!!!

And if you ever wonder how warm the mulch pile is... just ask a cat in the middle of a very chilly and rainy day:

Just for Aku...

2009-03-23T17:41:00.000-07:00

Since Aku has asked for more views of the wonders of the 'Super Awesome Co-op to-be', I thought I would give him a very special one... this is the joy of communal living that is commonly called "The plumbing is leaking... someone needs to crawl under this 80 year old house and fix it":

Although, in a TRUE commune, it would be "... someone who does not need to compress their breasts 1-1/2 inches in order to get under the house needs to ... "

Right now, it is just us :P

Constructive Critism Re-Construction

2009-03-23T17:36:00.000-07:00

I have had a constructive criticism post indicating that there are too many words for the ADD crowd and not enough pictures... in an attempt to adjust to that, I have included the slide show gadget which will show pictures from various albums in my Google photo box. If you click on the slide show, it will take you to the album that the picture is in and you can get more up close and personal with the various items. Comments there are always welcome as well.

I will also add more pictures as the topic permits, but, since I am blogging both to keep family and friends up to date with what is going on and to get back to writing (which I enjoy), the number of words will probably stay about the same... heh... I may end up writing just to myself, but that is really what this is for, so I guess that is a chance I will have to take :)

Spinning...

2009-03-23T11:36:00.001-07:00

First time spinning in twenty-mumble years... This is what 4-oz of llama fiber and a bottom weighted drop spindle look like.. :)

I can not decide if I am disappointed that it took me half of the fiber to remember how to do it, or if I am amazed that it only took half the fiber to remember how to do it... lol

Once it is spun, you have to 'set' the twist... I am hoping that hot water works the same on llama fiber as it does on sheeps wool.

I will say, the llama fiber is such a (soft) joy to work with... I may need to get a llama...

I have pretty much decided to buy the lot of unprocessed lllama fiber from e-bay... I wonder if it will take more or less than half of that to remember my carding skills... lol

A(nother) New Beginning...

2009-03-23T10:46:00.000-07:00

I am going to make another stab at keeping up the blog ... I guess I stopped since no one reads it, but I really need to be in the habit since it helps me keep doing what I need to do.

So... if someone IS reading, I would appreciate any comments - it does help to have this be a little interactive, but either way, I am going to make the effort for myself.

I was just reading through some things I had in the draft list. They do not really reflect where I am now, but they were where I was at some point, so I will probably post them in some form.

Garden 2009

2009-03-23T10:41:00.000-07:00

IT IS SPRING!!!!!!!

I can not believe how much better I feel... even though I still have to bundle up a bit to do it, my gardening pants have dirty knees! I have dirt under my fingernails! My back is killing me!

I am so happy :)

So far:

I am working on plot #1... it is an area that used to (before my time) be a burn pile. We did not till it with the big tiller when we smoothed the orchard because it had grapes growing in it that I did not want to kill off. So, for the past couple of years, it has just been a tangled mound of grapes and blackberries in the middle of the yard.

Last fall, I dug up the grapes (and moved them) and then used part of the maple/oak tree leaf clean up to do a winter cover. You can see the part I covered... of course, once I started tilling, it was just not big enough, so part of the year has now been reclaimed... :)

The Lincoln log planter at the back has a story of its own. Dad was building a bunch for a client. I ended up with his prototype... not much left of the connectors, but hey... whatever works.

Sooo... after tilling (a lot more than planned), I moved t-posts from the back pasture to use as the basis for the living fences. It took me a couple of tries since I am 'straight line' challenged, but I finally got them in line and strung.

Everyone kept telling me "it does not matter if they are not straight"... seriously? Am I the only one who realizes the peas and beans are going to taste funny if they grow on a crooked structure?

Once the lines were strung, I planted the tatters... they are already sprouting, so I just snugged the peices into the soil and covered them in mulch. I will keep mounding the mulch as the plants grow... that way the tatters will grow into the softer mulch... easier to pick for the babies... mmmm... already can taste the fresh beans and baby tatters... with a little fresh rosemary and chive... mmmmmm...

Peas are in, beans will be going in today after a short soak in some warm water... :)

The planter is actually doing double duty this year. The tenant in the little house did not tell me that their septic was plugged... apparently for a looooong time. Instead of telling me so I could fix it, they simply opened the clean out pipe in the back yard and let EVERYTHING flow out into the yard... (yes.. I know... grrrrr). When they finally told us (because it was becoming hard to ignore), I hauled about 30 gallons of waste in buckets... (NOT a happy camper).

The big question became what to do with it all... soooo... the old fashioned way ( a story for another post).

The planter now has the first round of lettuce and radishes going... next round in two weeks.

For the front of the plot, I moved over the bricks we scavenged when we removed the old chimney from the little house. The are pretty neat... they have a circular middle cylinder and four little cells around that. I planted the herbs in the middles and then put panseys in the cells in the front. I have not decided what to put in the back cells... maybe some marigolds? Or more mint... not sure yet...

New Job - Mixed Feelings

2009-03-20T23:17:00.000-07:00

When we moved back to Oregon (did I mention we moved back to Oregon? Remind me later to tell that story), one thing I needed was to find a job... pesky little detail, but surprisingly necessary.

So... after a couple months of procrastination, I finally got a little more serious about it... and of course, checked with my good friend and counselor, Craig and his list.

Low and behold, Craig had found me the perfect job!

"Wanted: Remote Tissue Recovery Technician"

Translation: The eye bank needed a harvester...

Oh wait... in today's day and age, we are supposed to be more politically correct. Someone might see the word 'harvester' and think that perhaps I am not being suitably respectful towards the departed. Maybe that I do not understand what a great gift it is they are giving.

Make no mistake... I do understand and I am respectful. I think it is absolutely fantastic that they made the choice to face their own mortality, often before they knew they were dying and took the time to make sure that their remains do not go to waste when there are plenty of people who can be helped with them. Or maybe they did not do that... but they raised a child or married a spouse who had the capability and compassion to put aside their grief long enough to make some pretty tough decisions.

To be charitable, I assume those people simply did not think they would be dying any time soon and MEANT to take the 5 minutes to go on-line and click the box... I certainly hope is is simple absent mindedness (or denial) and not that they were selfish enough to put their loved ones though the torture of having to deal with making THAT decision while facing the loss of THEIR loved one.

Please people... take the time to make your wishes known... make it clear as to whether or not you wish to donate your body (parts or whole)... do you want to be kept alive on artificial life support once there are no brain waves?

WRITE IT DOWN...

do not make your best friend be in the position of knowing what YOU would want... but have to watch your parents go against your wishes because they can not let go...

WRITE IT DOWN...

Where do the mixed feelings come in? From a very sad place called "economics" and "making a living"... no matter how much I justify and/or rationalize it, it still comes down to the fact that I am making my living on peoples death... a very different place from when my living was trying to keep people alive... and since I get paid per job, that means, when I am hoping I get called for another job (because the mortgage is coming due), I am a thin step away from hoping someone is dying...

I know the reality is that I am simply hoping that someone who is dying anyway will be a donor ... but the other is still in the back of my head... even though I know that is not what I am wishing...

Like I said... mixed feelings...

But I do have to admit, it is nice being back in medical shoes again... I really did not realize how much I missed it...

Quilting is no longer a hobby

2008-05-11T10:38:00.001-07:00

Frame 006, originally uploaded by sibgyp.

Woot!!!!!!!!!

VA: Starbucks is Racist

2008-01-09T16:18:00.000-08:00

VA: Starbucks is Racist

Race is such a funny thing... throughout my entire life, I have always been a little sad that I do not look Native American like my cousins... just because my dad married a woman of Russian and German linage, I look like Pippy Longstockings, instead of Pocahontas. Genetics can be a bitch and one with a very evil sense of humor.

Instead of gaining the best of both 'tribes' (small Indian shoulders, large German breasts, tiny Indian waste, shapely German legs and small waist, nicely padded Indian butt) I end up EXACTLY the opposite.

But the one time I am actually GLAD I look the way I do is when it comes to knowing that I got where I am because of my knowledge and skills. I do not have some deep seated insecurity (like many minorities I know) who KNOW damn well that they are smart and capable professionals, but who always will wonder if they would have gotten that job if they did not look like a minority.

I could have check marked the 'minority' box and had a leg up... but I prefer to have paid out the extra money in collage to have the piece of mind for the rest of my life that it is who I am and not what I am that is important. It is worth looking like a hunchbacked wine barrel with huge hips, a concave chest, no ass and thighs the size of a redwood tree (when I am at my PERFECT weight) to have the option that so many minority do NOT have.

Atheist symbol?

2008-01-04T14:18:00.000-08:00

There is a discussion going on at the Atheist Network about how we should (or should not) have some sort of symbol for atheism.

My initial reaction to that was a very simple reaction. If someones atheism is something that they think defines them in an important way, then they should feel free to mark themselves with whatever symbol that pleases them.

But as the conversation continues, I find my feelings on the matter go deeper than that.

Over and over, the 'gay pride' rainbow is brought up and I think that is both a good analogy, both for the pro's and the con's of the subject.

If some-one's gender preference is something that they strongly identify with and they want to wear the rainbow, then that is terrific. If I see that, I know that the persons 'gayness' is an important part to their identity.

Or is it?

How about the person who considered the 'rainbow' to be a sign of acceptance of diversity? Who is NOT gay, but has the symbol because they feel that their being accepting of diversity is a defining part of THEIR identity?

I have actually heard people say that someone who is not gay, should not be allowed to use that as an identifying symbol.

So who is it that gets to define what the symbol actually stands for?

If my atheism were an important part to my identity, I would want any symbol I wear to define ME and my atheism. Currently, there are plenty of symbols that define my feelings on the matter. I could wear the FSM, which describes my feeling about any god you would present to me... there is as much evidence for the FSM as the Christian god... explain why I should believe in one but not the other.

If I were so inclined, I could associate myself with any number or atheist/humanist organisations which have their own symbol... and that would give a fairly clear indication of what KIND of atheist I consider myself.

If there was ONE symbol denoting 'atheist' I personally would stay away from it for a couple simple reasons...

The most obvious being that I simply do not define myself by my atheism, so I see no reason to need to tell everyone around me that I do not have a belief in a god.

Second, there are a shitload of atheists who I think are absolute asses... fundy atheists who are no different to me than the fundy christians wearing their crosses as a way of visually declaring their superiority over anyone not of their kind ... or those who are only wearing ONE cross and not TWO or THREE.

Since most of the fundy atheists would be among the first to wear that symbol, if I wore it, I would be spending most of my time explaining that not everyone wearing that symbol are like that. Just like the rainbow, which was originally meant to identify ANYONE who valued diversity, gay or not, but which now is considered by most in the mainstream to be an identifier of one who is gay, any 'atheist' symbol would soon come to stand for that portion of the population that is most visible.

My third reason is fairly straight forward as well... my main problem with theists is not their belief in a god but in their belief that they are totally justified in forcing that belief on others. Their belief is no more my business as mine is theirs. For me to wear an 'atheist' symbol, declaring my my lack of belief is no different than someone wearing their cross to make a proclamation to me. It then becomes not about what one 'believes (or does not) but about someone being determined to make certain that everyone knows about it.

Taking evolutions name in vain...

2007-12-31T13:33:00.000-08:00

"From an evolutionary standpoint, it doesn't seem plausible that Mother Nature would have purposely allowed secretion of concentrated nitrate in the mouth if it were harmful to us."

While reading an article someone e-mailed me about nitrates and potential health benefits, I came across the above statement. It actually took me a while to figure out why exactly it was that this bothered me, but I finally came to it.

Here was someone who was not making wild claims about a 6000 year old earth or building strawmen about evolution and monkey or parroting on about some false micro/macro dichotomy, yet who was expressing an ignorance of evolution all the same.

Of course it is possible that this was simply someone engaging in poetic license, but still, I find myself as disturbed by the implication of this statement as I do in the ID/Creationism movement.

I wondered to myself why that was and low and behold, the angel of reason spoke down upon me...

The statement above speaks of some form of intent.... and misses the most basic of concepts inherent in the Theory of Evolution ... that evolution does not care about us... it has no design.

The statement above give the mental image of some format, some direction, when in fact, 'evolution' is nothing more than a label we give to a phenomenon that happens because one organism dies, while another lives.

Evolution... the change in genetic frequency over time.... whether or not an organism has a genetic makeup which gives that organism the ability to pass along its genes to the next generation, that is ALL that evolution (indulging my poetic fancy) 'cares' about.

From an 'evolutionary standpoint' it is completely plausible that we would have evolved with a secretion of something that was harmful to us... as long as it did not interfere with our ability to reproduce and pass those genes along, 'Mother Nature' would have nothing to say about it at all.

Man and God -Times Online

2007-12-28T08:01:00.000-08:00

Just anther example of how people NOT subscribing to a believers faith is somehow 'persecution'

Man and God -Times Online: "Man and God
How should faith respond to the onslaught of atheism?"

My response:

I am an agnostic atheist. I am not militant nor am I a 'profit' of godlessness... I do not claim that god 'does not' or 'can not' exist. I simply see no evidence that would lead me to a belief in god. That is all.

I do not preach an atheist doctrine (whatever that might be), I do not strap a bomb to my chest with the intent of killing others in the name of no-god. I do not ask others to stop believing in their god. I do not ask others to stop worshiping their god. I do not ask others to refrain from praying to their god. I DO request that people not force their personal beliefs on me whether through preaching to me or making laws intended to make me act as they think I should based on their arrogant belief that, if there is a god, they have the ability to know what that god wants from me.

But apparently, my not wanting others to feel justified in shoving their beliefs in my face makes me militant. Apparently, asking others to keep their pray privately or with others in their church and NOT in the schools I pay for and send my children to is trying to take their rights away. Apparently, expecting someone to respect that I am NOT a christian and wish me a happy holiday instead of Merry Christmas means that I am intolerant to their religion, but if I wish them a Happy Holiday instead of Merry Christmas I am persecuting them.

The very fact that the author listed as evidence of this vast atheist conspiracy the fact that a politician was honest about not having a belief in a god as opposed to lying about it to make he and his 'feel' better says a lot more about his religion and values than any atheist could ever say.

The sad fact is that the best argument against christianity are the believers themselves. It is not what the atheists are saying that is problematic to the theist... it is what they are doing... pointing out the disparity between what the religions put forth in their PR pamphlets and how their adherents actually act.

It is simple... I could not care less what someone believes... and if they are not telling me all about it, I would have nothing to say at all on the subject.

Family sues insurer who denied teen transplant - Health care- msnbc.com

2007-12-27T12:01:00.000-08:00

Family sues insurer who denied teen transplant - Health care- msnbc.com

As I started reading this, a very cynical thought occurs to me. How very stupid they are to have reversed it in the last minutes. If they had simply stuck to their original decision and said "We are sorry, but that is the way it is" they would probably get away with this if they originally had as leg to stand on in the denial.

If they did not, nothing would help them, but in reversing their decision, they open the door for accusations that they made a mistake in denying it in the first place, making them liable for the death.

Now... I think this before actually having finished the article to know whether or not they had grounds in the denial in the first place. That in itself brings up so many issues; primarily, what right does the insurance company have to make medical decisions in the first place.

If the patients doctor says it is a viable option, what right does the insurance company have to deny the treatment? No one with half of a brain-cell can argue that they do it for any reason OTHER than money. "It has a low chance of success" is nothing more than saying that "There is a good chance that the money would be wasted".

The argument that someone else could use that organ is an emotional appeal, but not a legitimate argument, because the doctors on the transplant teams are the specialists. They know the risks, they know the chances, they know the patient. And they know that there are more people than available organs.

Additionally, just because there are other people on the list who are a match for that organ, that does not mean they are necessarily in competition for that organ. Sending a fresh organ across the country to someone else, means that the organs chances of being accepted are dropping... usually to the point where a patient with a 'better' chance of survival with a FRESH organ looses that edge with an organ not so 'fresh'.

I think it comes down to something very simple. If the insurance company can show that THEY had another patient with an over all better chance of survival and made the choice based on that, then they are off the hook... if they are going to pay for it, they are justified in choosing the person with the best chances of survival based on the doctors judgement. If that is the case and they denied it simply based on HER chances, then they should be treated the same way a bank robber would be charged if a teller were killed during the commission of their crime.

Whining.. more entitlement?

2007-07-18T14:45:00.000-07:00

What an interesting world we live in when someone needs to actually point out that whiners and the "I will rise above all this negativity (that I bring upon myself)"-ers need to seriously get a life.

I used to care what others opinion of me was... and then I reached a point where I realized how exhausting it was trying to make myself something that was not offensive to anyone. Exhausting and futile. By being what one person wants, you most likely are offending another... and in just the process of trying to be everything to everyone, you offend yourself.

I am pretty sporadic about this blogging thing. And I am probably a little more open about what I say since I know that I am probably the only one who will ever read this thing. A spate of entries over two days every year and a half does NOT a following make. But I really do not care. That is not why I do this.

Frankly, I blog (when I blog) because I am bored stiff at times. So, by extention, if I am blogging because I am bored, chances are that anything I have to say will be.. yeap... boring.

So I do not blog for others to read. I blog to amuse myself, to practice my english skills and to keep my typing fingers limbered up . But lets face it... I am not writing this down in a private place. I am not writing this by hand in the journal I keep in my underwear drawer... I am not typing this into a private WORD document. I am typing on an Internet blog... which, by definition, people have access to read. Dur...

So when someone starts talking about how boring I am, how I am typing words of tedium and minutia... my response will be:

"Yah, you are completely correct... which is why I pointed out that this is not intended for others to read... what part of 'typing practice' is not clear?"

But will it matter to me what they think? It might have years ago... but then again, years ago I might have been typing in this blog with the intent that others actually read it and be enthralled by every aspect of my life...

And maybe sometime in the future my life will again be so meaningless that I feel the need to type every moment of my life out so that others can validate me.

Maybe... but I am an optimist enough to hope that someone will have shot me by then and put me out of my misery.

Personal Responsibility

2007-07-18T12:20:00.000-07:00

What are two words, often heard, that everyone gives lip service to, yet few actually follow?

Yeap.. Personal Responsibility.

I think if I had to pick ONE thing that royally frustrates and pisses me off, this would be the one.

"I hate my life"
"So change it... "
"I would, but... but... but... "
"Dude... you need to take personal responsibility for your life..."
"I do... It is just that everyone is against me, circumstances make everything (except whining) impossible... no one will give me what I need to get out and nothing is my fault."

A recent conversation:

"I beat my kids because my parents beat me... I know it is wrong but just can not seem to stop."
"So go to some parenting classes and learn how to break the cycle..."
"I can not afford it..."
"They are free..."
"I can not get a babysitter..."
"They have a sitting service during the classes..."
"There is too much to do at night... "
"So why do you beat your children?"
"Because my parents beat me... I know it is wrong but just can not seem to stop."

Or another favorite:

"I have a drug problem..."
"Do you want to stop using them?"
"Yes... it is fucking up my life... my husband is about to leave me, my kids hate me... I am a mess..."
"What can I do to help?"
"I have tried everything... "
"Have you tried counseling?"
"No... but that will not do any good... they will just tell me I have a problem."
"How do you know if you have not tried it?"
"I just know..."
"How about a treatment facility?"
"Then everyone will know I have a drug problem..."
"I hate to tell you, but everyone already knows..."
"Still... I do not want everyone to know... "
"How about AA?"
"They are just a bunch of whining druggies..."
"Honey... you are a druggie... and right now you are just doing a lot of whining... "
"If you do not want to help, just leave me alone... "
"Ok.. ok... so how can I help?"
"There is nothing you can do... I have a disease and there is no cure."

So I get really frustrated at peoples inability to take responsibility for themselves... but then I look around me and wonder how it can be any different...

In a way, the christians are correct when they say this is a christian nation. This is a nation of people who have been trained from an early age that there is no need for them to be responsible for themselves. Why should they be? If they do something good and right, it is 'god' who did that through them. If they do something 'bad' or 'wrong', they are simply living up to what they have been told is human nature. And why should they change, since it is only through a god that they can 'overcome' the nasty, dirty, evil morass that is human nature?

How do we expect our children to stand up and take responsibility for their behavior and actions, when we are so busy filing lawsuits against the school system for having the audacity to 'label' a child a troublemaker when they pull a knife on a teacher? When we encourage our children to be disrespectful of all authority figures in the name of 'individuality'?

There is a huge difference between teaching our kids that they are not required to respect someone unless that respect is earned and teaching them that it is ok to be disrespectful.

There is a huge difference between teaching our children that there are methods and means of standing up for what is right and just through the system, or, if that fails them, through civil disobedience, without letting that become nothing more than an excuse for them to turn into little assholes with no concept of how to be a member of a community for no other reason than they are lazy and 'do not want to".

But there again... why am I surprised? How can I complain about the kids having no concept of personal responsibility when most of their parents do not either... 2000 years of teaching people that they are worthless pieces of shit and that it is better to ask forgiveness of an invisible sky buddy than it is to just do the right thing to begin with... what do we expect?

How I got here...

2007-07-18T11:30:00.000-07:00

Somewhere between 5 and 7 years ago, I started getting involved with atheists on the internet. It started with me going to a web tool called PalTalk. I have no idea how I ended up in the atheist rooms, but I met a few wonderful people, two of whom I now consider my best friends. Since I can think of maybe a handful of people I consider 'friend' (as opposed to 'fond aquaintance') you can imagine that the term 'best' is applied judiciously.

As the conversations swirled about madly, I discovered (among the theist-baiting) that there were some very basic concepts I had never really explored completely. I found concepts about myself challenged and I found myself forced into developing a cohesiveness of thought on subjects I had not even considered that I needed to consider.

I was asked... "What are you?"

"What do you MEAN what am I?"

How in the world can they be asking me to define myself when I am so many things? I am... well... I... hummmm... what AM I?

I discovered that I did not really know...

Oh... there were the obvious ones... so I thought I would start with those... I am an animal... I am a member of the human race.... I am of a gender... I am of a nation...

As I started listing these things, I realized that none of these labels were sufficient within themselves to label myself... so I started the search to see what label was...

Because of who I was socializing with, I guess it was natural that one of the things I started exploring was what my beliefs were regarding a god or gods...

I had never really thought about it much... is there a god? I had not seen any evidence of one, but a lot of people believed in one, so that made it real enough...

This is not to say that I have ever believed that a god exists... but I DID feel that a god CONCEPT existed and that really is the same thing... it does not matter if someones action is based on a belief in a god or not... it is still their action... and I will still hold them responsible for their actions, make my judgements based on what they do, etc, whether or not THEY hold THEMSELVES responsible for their actions or not.

But as time continued and I had more interaction with the theists and atheists of cyberspace, it became clear that life did not really work out like this.

As I was sorting through things, I went through various phases of 'belief'... at first, I was surprised to see that there was even a reason to have a discussion. How in the world can a belief in something for which there is no evidence of existence be of influence in peoples lives?

Until that point, while I knew that individual faith could be irrelevant or a driving force depending on the individual in question, I had never really thought about how it effected me or others. Probably because my lack of belief does not effect those around me, it never occurred to me that others might effect me.

But then I was exposed, through PalTalk and then the Atheist Network, to the most offensive and foul creature out there... the Fundy.

It does not matter what religion (or lack thereof) we are speaking of... all have their fundamentalists. But it seems that there is definitely a larger percentage of fundamentalist christians trolling the Internet looking for someone to force their beliefs on than any other group one could name. I have been utterly shocked at the absolute lack of integrity and manners exhibited by these 'people'.

People who come to a space labeled "Atheist Network", without invitation, of their own volition and then tell us how offensive it is to them that we are atheists. They came to the site (as if the title of the site was "Please come and convert us" to tell us that we, as atheists, are the worst sort of human on the planet. Lower than those of other (false) religions... lower than the worst murderer, the worst child molester. To tell us that we are not worth the air we breath and that we pollute the land we stand upon.

Yet... when asked why they were subjecting themselves to such evil, said "Because we love you... "

We are told that we have no morals... before they have even bothered to find out who we are, what our lives are about. Based on NOTHING MORE than the fact that we do not believe that their god exists, we lack all morals. When asked to tell me specifically what immoral behavior I engage in, I am usually told

"You do not believe in god"

The conversation usually continues along the lines of:

"But you said I am lacking in morals. So you are saying that the ONLY moral that exists is 'belief in god'?"

"No... there are other morals"

"So what are the 'other' morals that, as an atheist, I do not have?"

"I do not know specifically about you, but as an atheist, you are immoral."

"But HOW am I immoral?"

"You do not believe in god..."

"You already said that... "

"I will pray for you... "

After a while, I started wondering what I was missing out on due to my god belief. So I asked "The Question". It seemed to me that there must be some grand benefit to society in people believing in this entity, considering there is zero evidence for its existence. As of yet, no one has presented any credible evidence of existence and no one has provided me with a benefit to society that would make me belief even in the absence of evidence.

But I DO get prayed for an awfully lot.

So who am I? What am I? I went through my phases, but in the end, I am the same as I have always been... an animal of the human species who lives in a nation on this earth. I take my showers, brush my teeth... I wear clothes in order to be socially acceptable and I attempt to get my body into a state acceptable to me for my health and to my mate for his pleasure. I go to work, I raised my children. I swim, I read, I fish.

Oh yah... an I just happen to not have a belief in a god.

"The Question"

2007-07-18T10:54:00.001-07:00

For many years, I have been asking "The Question" and, as yet, have only had one person answer it. I am putting it here on the off chance that someone might see it and give it a go.

What is it that a theist can do that is beneficial to society, that I, as an atheist, am unable to do.

So far, the only person who did not ignore the question said "Absolutely nothing. Faith is not about society, but about each persons individual soul."

This theist I can respect for their honesty and integrity in not simply blowing off the question.

Anyone else?

Blogging - Back to High School? or "I know you are, but what am I?"

2007-06-15T15:16:00.000-07:00

Part two - (For part one, see below)

There is ONE place on the Internet that I have been a regular poster over the years… I read there, I post there… a large number of people from there have become real friends. I just do not have the time, energy or inclination to go to other sites on a regular basis… certainly not enough to spend the time to leave comments… but this… oh man… THIS was amazing enough to shock me into comment land.

All over the Internet, people are obsessing over this woman. Or is she? A woman, that is… because this seems to be one of the burning issues.

People are actually spending their time coming up with all the reasons she could not be a woman. "There is no way a woman would not have noticed that the woman was 100-lbs."

WTF?!?! Ignoring for a moment the incredibly flimsy straw man arguments used in all the speculation, who the hell put these people in charge of what woman will and will not do? These people are so busy trying to say that 'she' is actually a misogynistic male, that they buy right into these stupid, and frankly insulting, stereotypes. Forgive me my hyperbole, but… misogyny, thy name appears to be "Bloggers against VA".

In addition to the "V is a man and I can prove it.." nuts, there are several who have dedicated an enormous amount of time to talking about her ... here is someone who even breaks down her writing style and discusses how it compares to Wuthering Heights... in a post called "The mendacity of violent acres - part 8"

No... I am not kidding... Wuthering Heights...

And yes... Part 8!

And another...

“I like how V is the moral one.

I also had an idea that V is really a lesbian. I ‘know’ she has said she is a married, female, but she also has said she goes to pains to disguise her true identity.

She just writes in a male voice, but also has female observations. What do you think? She just ain’t some married women with step-kids - not buying it.” -- VA - come out and play

And then in this article she says:

“If you are the patron…
Get a fucking babysitter. If I wanted to listen to shrieking children, I would have had my own. Don’t cry to me about how you need a break but you can’t afford one, either. You should have thought about that before you had children. The very least you can do is take the little fuckers outside when they start acting up. Do not ruin the evening of an entire restaurant of people because you couldn’t figure out how to properly utilize a condom.”

Blunt, yes... but would you disagree? Apparently, some do since it got this response:

“# Lisa Says:
February 24th, 2007 at 8:04 pm

For the cunt that happens to think her opinion matters….where the fuck do you live that makes you so fucking important? If you truly believe you are someone important then why don’t you yell this out in a restaurant and Im sure about 95% of the people there would be happy to beat the shit out of you and then you can tell your parents that someone bat the fuck out of their precious child, cause noone else will care. Why don’t you go talk this shit with your friends instead of acting like you know one fucking thing about anything..burn in hell you stupid bitch”

Boy-oh-boy... how Christian… someone not wanting to have their dinner intruded upon by ill mannered (or even simply tired) screaming children because their parents are too self-absorbed to consider anyone else in the world around them deserves eternal damnation and torment… lovely.

What is it about someone talking about PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY and STOP BEING A FUCKING VICTEM that pisses people off so bad?

And from her article “Image is everything”

“That’s one of the reasons I get so annoyed when people read my writing, disagree with my attitude and always make the assumption that I’m overweight. I mean, what are you trying to say about fat people anyway? Does a person have no worth if their dress size is in the double digits?”

Exactly… she is plain spoken about things that irritate her so she must be fat? Only fat people get irritated by screaming children and welfare abuse?

If it turns out ‘she’ is a ‘he’, does that invalidate ‘her’ points? Only woman are allowed to have an opinion?

And then there are the really stupid attacks...

“... first of all, this is not news, it's a shitty blog using a crap generic template.”

Ok... the first point is valid... "this is not news, people"... this is an anonymous person, on an anonymous blog, giving an anonymous opinion ... and ADMITTING that it is nothing more than her opinion... holding no more validity than any OTHER opinion.

So what does her template have to do with anything? Way to take a completely valid point and invalidate it through stupidity.

Does the phrase "Symbolism over Substance" mean anything to anyone?

Plain Spoken or Bitchy?

2007-06-15T14:55:00.000-07:00

Part 1

I recently spent some time in a little corner of the Internet called "Violent Acres". And an interesting piece of property it is, too.

For those who have never been there, it is inhabited by an person who maintains her anonymity, yet manages to give a lot of information about themselves. She has been writing this blog since October of last year. She is VERY blunt, opinionated and sometimes, cruel. Basically, she is what I want to be when I grow up.

She points out things about our culture which most people avoid pointing out because they do not want to be 'mean'… things that have often frustrated me. She says things that most people would never say… because they want people to label them 'nice'. What would V say? Fuck 'nice'…

Have you ever wanted to say to the lady at the table next to you "Do you REALLY have to be such a bitch?" as she is being… well … a bitch… to the overworked, underpaid server? Did you say something or did you do the 'polite' thing and just looked away?

Do you get ticked off that people are having children because they WANT to, even when they can not afford to support them? Have you ever wanted to say "THAT IS CHILD ABUSE! STOP IT!"?

Are you a step-parent who has over and over (and over and over…) bitten your tongue, taken the high road, turned the other cheek… to avoid saying anything negative about the child's deadbeat bio parent, while enjoying the fruits of them trashing you? Do you fantasize about telling them what you REALLY think?

Take a trip to VA land… a place where 'nice' is not a boundary and 'blunt' is an understatement… I love it there…

But, worthy as the place is of praise, that is not really what made me come out of blogging hibernation…

And yes… I AM aware that it has been more than 7 months since my last visit… real life has been good to me… I LOVE that…

While VA quickly caught my interest and admiration… and occasionally my funny bone… what has REALLY amazed me is all the reactions people have to her posts. (Continued)

My Theory of Relativity

2006-10-13T16:40:00.001-07:00

I have decided that you Physics geeks make things much more difficult than it has to be…

All that science and la-de-da equations? Waste of time.. .

You want proof that time is relative? Easy..

Have you ever noticed how when you are driving to someplace fun it takes longer than when you are driving someplace you do not want to go?

Along the same lines, a two hour party with cool people last about 1 hour, but a two hour duty-party with Aunt Thelma? DAYS!

Look at work … today is the longest week I have ever had…

Add in vacation… one week at work lasts a month, while a week with the clan in Seattle takes about 2 parsecs.

See? Time is relative…

(eat your heart out Einstein!)

A Parable in Progress

2006-10-10T14:17:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, a theist heard about a zoo that had started collecting an alien species called "Atheist". He asked his friend (who told him about this "Atheist" creature), "What is an atheist?"

His friend explained that an Atheist is a small furry creature, with 6 eyes, purple or green fur, 5 arms, 3 legs with no verbal skills. The friend told the theist, that the Atheist was estimated to have an intelligence level similar to that of a large rat with horns and that they eat their young. They also throw temper-tantrums and run in circles and throw poop.

This intrigued the theist who decided that he needed to see this for himself, so he made the journey to the Atheist Zoo, completely convinced that if he only told them the magic thing, then they would see the truth and it would magically turn them into REAL (TM) people.

When he got there, he made his way to the main exhibit. There were signs up all over the place, warning people not to antagonize the residents of the exhibit. He thought to himself "Why.. I am not intending to antagonize anyone... I simply intend to ENLIGHTEN them... once I tell them the MAGIC thing, they will be so grateful that they fall over themselves to thank me for saving them from themselves.. they will hail me as a great intellect and make me their leader!"

With that, feeling very virtuous, the theist entered the viewing room and looked around but did not see any 'atheists'. He walked up to a group of people who seemed to be in conversation and asked "Excuse me, but I do not see any atheists... are they on display today?".

The people in the group looked to him and said "Well.. we are atheists.."

"No no.. that can not be true", the theist exclaimed, "You are not small furry creature, with 6 eyes, purple or green fur, 5 arms, 3 legs... and you speak! You can not be atheists!"

One person from the group in discussion, leaned over and told the theist "Ummm.. we know you probably have been told a lot of things about atheist and most of them probably are not true... if you are interested in spending time with us and learning about what we REALLY are like, then we will be happy to talk to you."

Skeptical, the theist did not really believe this, because they all looked like everyone else he know, but decided to explore further to see what these peoples joke was. The theist looked around the viewing room. There was a large table where the so called "atheist' were sitting. There were several chairs, all taken, but there were several of them standing and leaning around the main group. As he watched, several of the atheist came and went in and out of the room and discussion group.

All around the room, there were chairs placed so that newcomers could come and join the conversation. He noticed several people that came into the room would grab an empty chair and pull up to the outskirts of the discussion group, sitting and listening awhile to see what was going on. After a while, they would move their chairs a little deeper into the group and introduce themselves. These people were offered a variety of things, from coffee, tea and muffins, to saws, jackets and divorce lawyers. Once the welcoming ritual had been completely, the theist noted that the newcomer would hesitantly start asking question and offering opinions. The more the newcomer got involved and became more comfortable, the more spirited the discussions got. Many allegiances seemed to shift and sort, but in the end, the fun was in the discussion.

After a short time, the theist decided that it was time to tell these people the Magic Thing. So he waded up to the group, pushing and shoving people out of his way and pushed a person at the centre of the group off the chair he wanted. He took that chair and rapped on the table to get everyone’s attention.

"I am now going to tell you the magic thing. I am sure you have never heard it since you do not think the way I do, but I am certain that you will drop to your knees to thank me when you hear the Magic Thing."

The theist then imparted the Magic Thing and sat back with a satisfied look waiting for the adulation to start. It took him a few seconds to realize that the noise he was hearing was not cheers to him, but some peoples gears. Others were trying to explain to him that this was not new... it had been heard and addressed many times before. The theist knew this could not be true, because if they had heard it before, they would know it was "TRUTH" and they would believe the way he did."

Several of the discussion group tried to explain that his statement, the Magic Thing, was not true and the reasons why. They told him, if you are going to say this is true, then we need something to go on other than "because I say it.." They listed with clarity and logic why his statement was patently not supported and asked him to back up his statement with support for his opinion.

The theist was taken aback... what these atheists were saying was inconceivable. How could they not see the truth? Had he not just TOLD them? Through his shock, he heard their voices, but was unable to understand anything they were telling him. It was impossible for him to think past the shock of them feeling that his opinion was not the appropriate supporting information for his opinion. How DARE they!?!? The barbarians!

Overwhelmed by the babble noise of these ungrateful wretches, he panicked when he realized that he was in the middle, surrounded. He brought to bear the only weapon at his disposal, the weapon learned and honed by all of the people throughout his life whose words had lowered HIS self esteem. He started lashing out, bringing into question their intelligence and ability to speak. He started throwing out phrases like "circular reasoning" and "sit around congratulating yourselves"... phrases that really did not make sense under the circumstances, but in his panic, were the only ones he could come up with, since they were the ones most frequently thrown at him, by people not willing to buy into his feeble attempts at overcoming the self-esteem damage done by an upbringing which told him he was nothing more than a piece of shit.

The illogical verbal attacks only brought more and more laughter and ridicule from the gathered atheists as they realized that this pathetic attempt at insult was nothing more than the theists way of trying to get himself out of a situation WAY over his head without admitting he had no idea what he was talking about. None pursued him as he left, but were more than happy to laugh at him more as they dodged the continuous flow of poo he flung on his way to the door.

The theist went home feeling completely shaken. He comforted himself by thinking about how evil this 'Atheist' creature is.

As he was walking down the street, a friend of his came up to him and asked how the visit tot he atheists went... he shuddered and said "It was the most horrible experience of my life...I went to them and explained that I only wanted to learn from them and they turned on me and tried to rip out my arms and eyes... then, I noticed that they were in pain and I offered my assistance and they spat upon me. Even then, I still tried to show them my friendship, tried to show them how I was not there to change them, but to envelope them in my tolerance of their ways... they were brutal, savage creatures. "

His friend asked "What are they like?" to which the theist replied "They are small furry creature, with 6 eyes, purple or green fur, 5 arms, 3 legs with no verbal skills. They eat their young and throw poo."

Life Changes

2006-10-10T14:02:00.000-07:00

I was privileged enough to be invited to read the blog of someone I am beginning to find quite fascinating. In his blog, he wrote an entry about the things he is doing to improve himself and most of what he said struck a cord with me … much of that blog could have been written about me.

In writing to him to tell him that, I found myself subjecting him to a MUCH longer dissertation that I really intended (If you are reading this, sorry about that!)… I guess there was a lot more there waiting to be said than I thought.

Since it seems that this topic is a lot more important to me at this time, I thought I would go ahead and put parts here as well.

****

When I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia (after a year of being told it was all in my head,,, lol) I had the mixed feelings of relief that it actually WAS something and it had a name and devastation because the outlook was so chronically dismal.

I was lucky that I had access to the research being done and found out about the sleep disorder aspect of when that was just being 'discovered' and was able to start right away in dealing with it. I can, with a few adjustments to my normal lifestyle, head it off when it gets going, but that does not stop the occasional bouts of 'why me' and 'this is crap' I get when I get down about things.

{snip irrelevant stuff}

I spent a lot of time right after the divorce restarting my life. For the first 16 months, it was all about getting resettled with house renovations, learning a new job, etc. It was not until last year (around this time) that I realized that I was basically happy with my life, but that there were areas I needed to work on. Mine were very similar to yours in many ways.

The first thing I did was to admit that I needed help with depression. I had been in denial for a long time. One of the most common things people in my situation say is "… I was in denial for a long time, but one I started on the meds, I could not believe I waited so long…" That was me…

It took someone pointing out that I had just gone through all of the major life stressor but one and that one happened three months later. I divorced, I moved to a different state, I bought the farm (in the good way…lol) on my own, new job and had more interaction with a sick parent (enough that I could not remain in denial about that as well). My friend told me that after all of that, it would be odd if I did NOT need meds… So, I bit the bullet and requested the Rx… it was the best thing I ever did.

That helped give me some perspective… the meds are a useful tool to take care of the chemical issues, but realistically, they do not 'solve' a lot of the real issues. I decided to use the clarity the meds gave me to make a plan.

I started loosing weight. I had already lost some, but that was more a bi-product of all the other 'stuff' than a real issue… but it gave me a starting point. I was going to get serious now and I did. Watching what I ate and swimming.

The swimming was part duex. I had gotten sedentary again and I knew that had to stop, since I also know that exercise helps my chemical imbalance… lol … the upshot is that I lost about 50 pounds and started shaping up. I lost my momentum when my Mom died, but I joined a gym this month for the classes. I am concentrating on Yoga and Pilates until I gain some strength (and stamina after being sick) and will then work back up to weights and cardio. I had forgotten how much I love doing yoga… I may have to prop my arms up to type this, since I am pretty sure last nights instructor is a descendant of Attila the Hun, but I am more flexible, damn it!

I also decided I need to get out more and make the effort to make friends. I too am a fairly solitary person. I am happy to be by myself most of the time and I cherish the real friends I have. But I started to see that it was not enough and that my whole life, I had been shortchanging and limiting myself by not making more of an effort to include more people in my life.

It was funny how that one got solved… one day, Opiate69 (from the board) started talking about the battle of the bands he was going to be in in Seattle. I thought to myself "Gee… I wish I could go to… wait a minute… why not!" … So I made arraignments to go. I stayed at the hostel (there is a whole other 'made new friends' story) and went to Amber/Arch/D-Smacks Halloween party. I fell in love with them. I go up about once every 6-weeks and they come here sometimes. I really enjoy being a part of their circle, but… a few weeks ago, it pointed out something else I do not like about myself.

I was on a camping trip with them and a friend of theirs asked me "Are you always this self-contained?" … There was a chorus of "Yes!" all around me. It upset me and I had no idea why. I am still not sure why that was upsetting to me, but I am working on that. I think it may fall under your "Open up to people more…", which actually is why you are getting the story of my current life as a mini-doctoral thesis… {snip} … maybe this is something that happens to all 37 year olds… hehe…

{snip}… Re: "Simplify" concept. I have been working on all the things I have let slide to put them in order. Cleaning-up the minor things on the credit report, getting rid of things, which is a really hard one for me… pack-rat-itis is painful to cure.

Actually, I think it is like alcoholism in that there really is no cure… we can only treat the symptoms. I try to take it a little at a time. I weed out books, keeping only the ones I am sure I can not do without and then go back the next month and weed out more. I finally gave away the 2-years of accumulated grocery bags to the local co-op. New rule… I can only keep 5 around the house. I am giving away most of my yarn. If it is not already committed to a project, OUT DAMN YARN...OUT!

One big one I am working on is being better about meeting obligations. I tend to over promise and disappoint people (and myself) when I have to cancel things. I also procrastinate, but once I decided that most of my procrastination is fear of the unknown, that has been getting better.

One thing about this last couple of years... I have started a million times (ok... maybe a *little* hyperbole) to 'better myself' and always failed at it. This time, from the very start, it was... different. I *knew* from the beginning that, this time, I was going to succeed. I cannot explain the feeling, but there was a commitment to 'the plan' that I had never had before. I still feel that way. When I look forward, I get the same feeling as when you finally decide to jump into that pool and you just DO it, if that makes any sense.

At the same time, I am less ridged... more flexible and forgiving about my lapses (which happen). I no longer see them as failures, just one more change I need to make. I feel like, for the first time, I am in control.

Something else happened when *** died... I became less of a 'nice' person... but I became a much more honest, sincere and REAL person. It was really weird. Where I used to take crap from people just to not cause a scene, or to not make someone feel bad, etc... I no longer do that. I have learned how to be honest and straightforward, instead of avoiding honesty and straightforward for the sake of social comfort. I do not mean that I go out looking for trouble or intentionally embarrass people. One example was actually this morning when someone wanted to gossip about someone else. Normally, I would have listened to them to not cause a flap, but today, I simply said "I really would prefer it if you did not tell me those things. That is really personal between x and y and I am uncomfortable speculating on it." I love feeling like I can do that now.

I am sorry this turned into true confessions, but I found that once I started typing, it was hard to stop. A lot of things here that I had never put into words. I think I may post part of this on my blog as well.

Transfered from MySpace

2006-03-26T17:41:00.000-08:00

Monday, February 27, 2006

Random thought for today...
If they had used instant oatmeal on the shuttle, that tile would NEVER have come off....

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Ahhhhh... conspicuous consumerism.... **drool**

I have met my hypocrisy and its name is shopping...

I have always thought of myself as a logical person... I plan things - this means if I need something, I figure out how to afford and obtain it. If I WANT something, I think about it for a LONG time, weighing the wants against the needs... usually, I end up not getting things, not because I do not want them, but because I am a cheapskate who has a very hard time parting with money and when it comes time to purchase things, I 'just say no" sometimes to a fault...

I sometimes laugh a little at people who buy just to have... not people who spend money and buy nice things... that is not the same thing... but people who buy JUST to own...

Until today... after today, I will never laugh again, for I have seen the pleasure in consumerism...
I have to admit to a bit of shame over it... I should not be feeling this pleasure from buying things... I can see where it could become addictive... the power, the pleasure in walking into a store and saying ... "I will buy this and this and this.... " about things I do not technically NEED, but that I want... to not worry over the price.. to not say "that is the one I want, but this one is cheaper, more logical and by all means the more practical choice...'... to not say I would really like 6 towels, but do I REALLY need them, when I could make do with 4?

Could I have used that money for other things? Hell yes... but for once, instead of being 100esponsible, I choose to be 5/6ths responsible and 1/6 irresponsible... and you know what?

It really feels good... it REALLY feels good.

So now I have 6 towels that actually match! And a kitchen runner... and a new bathmat, that I really did not NEED but it sure looks great...

And my major indulgence? (shhhhhh... do not tell anyone, but I actually own a new tv... and it is AWESOME)

Now I just need to figure out how to NOT want to indulge like this all the time... it is going to be hard to go back to being a penny pinching...

Oh yeah... and the septic system is fixed! WHOOT!!!!!!!

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Scales

So... while enjoying watching the clan shop for a new coffee maker, my magpie-eye catches sight of a really nifty scale.I have been thinking about that scale for several days, so apparently, I need to buy it. I went on Fry's and can not find it listed under the brand I THOUGHT it was so I go web browsing to see what I can find... I found a talking scale ... it talks ... I would step-up onto it and it would VERBALLY tell me I am fat. Who in the world (excluding blind people of course) needs THAT in their lives? There is just something so very wrong about that concept.The only up side is that you would avoid that early morning "Ok... I am standing naked on this scale... I will flip the light on quickly to see what it reads.. I really do not want to do this... *stall stall* ... ok.. freezing now... " issue. But the alternative? I would be starting every day hearing "Yes... you are fat... now please get off me... you are squishing my contacts."*sigh*

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Cold outside, warm inside...

One of the best things about winter weather is being outside in the cold just long enough to really appreciate the warm when you come in...

It occurs to me that this is really no different in our hearts... the chill of being alone makes the warm of friends so much more enjoyable...

Cold outside and warm in...

Really... does it get much better than this?

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Do I HAVE too?!?!?

Ok... fair is fair...

I bitched about all the frustration, so now it is only fair that when they let something that was MY fault slide, I mention it too... I am doing this, not because I think anyone wants to hear more about my dellhell, but because... well... fair is fair...

Several days after I packed up the Dell and got it sent on its way, I noticed that the power strip I had pulled from the TV set-up to use for the computer, was still running from the wall, across the floor and into the middle of the room... this is a great example that if I step over something enough, my mind no longer sees that it is present.... which basically explains how my house can get as messy as it (often) does...but that is off the subject...

So my eyes naturally FOLLOW said power strip to the centre of the room... NOT to behind the couch, or under the table or into another room.... no... to the CENTRE of the room! And low and behold! What do I see!?!?

The POWER CORD FOR THE DELL... plugged in.... with the other end going ... yeap... nowhere!
After scrambling my brain looking for a way to get mad at Dell for this, I come to the conclusion that this one is all on me... of course it is the weekend so I can not do anything about it and in my illness yesterday, I forgot...

So today driving home I called Dell ... the phone tree from hell lead my directly to a live person! No hold! (Yes kiddies... I think you all better start preparing for the Apocalypse) where a very nice young man ("Mike") spent 20 minutes looking up things on the computer to tell me that there is no need for me to send it back, the issue has been dealt with...

I do feel really bad because right after I said "Wow.. thank you very much" and he started to say something, my cell phone dropped the call... why my phone insists on dropping calls to Dell every time I am being nice, I do not know...

That is one of the most irritating things about their phone system... I knew that there was no way if I called back that I would get ahold of "Mike" to apologize for my phone hanging up on him...

Oh well...

So there it is... fair is fair...

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Ding Dong, the Wicked Dell is Dead

or (in the spirit of Rocky and Bullwinkle)

I have entered the Den of the Dell and have emerged victorious … the Dell dragon has been vanquished.

or

I am bitch, hear me roar!

Monday –
So I get on the road for my hour long commute and do something I never do… dial up my cell phone. I call the Dell …20 minutes later, after the phone-tree-from-hell and some horrid on-hold music, I speak to their first line of defense.

After telling my sad tale of woe (and angry frustration) she informs me that she can not authorize a return after the return limit, which is “As you know.. 21-days.” “Thank you, have a nice day. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

I ask to speak to her supervisor… “Certainly… please hold the line and I will connect you to my manager… his name is ‘Mike’ … after 3 more minutes on hold, I hear “The extension 000000 is not a valid extension….<>”

Several deep breaths later, another trip through the phone-tree-from-hell and another 20-minute wait, I get BACK to the first line of defense, this time named ‘Judy’. “Hello Judy… after 20-minutes on hold, telling my whole story, supposedly getting transferred to a supervisor named ‘Mike’ but instead getting cut off, I AGAIN waited 20-minutes to get back to you. Please see that I am transferred to a ‘Mike’ the manager and please make certain I do not get cut off this time” … “I do not know of this ‘Mike’ but I will certainly transfer you to my supervisor… please hold the line…”

5-minutes later, I get ‘Samantha’. I have to give ‘Samantha’ credit for sitting quietly while I vented at her, before she informed me she could not help me… BUT she would request a ‘call-back’ from ‘corporate’… she <> that someone one would call within 24-hours. I asked for a direct number in case no one did, but she informed me I did not need it because someone would DEFINITELY call in 24-hours… unfortunately I could not insist because I had been on the phone so long that my battery ran out and I had reached the end of my 1-hour commute.

Fade to next day… more than 25-hours later…

SURPRISE!!!!!!! … (wait for it) …No call!!!!!!!!

So, back on the road (this time to a very interesting short course on pesticide effects on humans and wildlife), I figure I have another 1-hour commute so what the hell… so I plug in my phone to the charger and … say it will me: dial Dell, navigate the phone-tree-from-hell and wait, finally getting through AGAIN to the first line of defense… I then line it all out AGAIN, starting with “I am VERY angry and frustrated, quite frankly about ½ of a call away from calling the Attny. Generals Consumer Fraud Division. I was told I would get a call back from ‘corporate’ within 24-hours and as of now, more than 25-hours later, have not received that call-back. I want my issue dealt with.”

She asked what the problem is…

(if you already read the two 'grrrrrrr' posts, you might want to skip the next part...)

Me: “So glad you asked… #1) Prior to buying this computer, I spoke with your representative to determine if the system was sufficient to run the USB device we were ALSO buying THROUGH YOU. I was told it was. We ordered the computer (we will not even go into the issues with THAT)… when the computer was received, the USB ports would not work properly. Tech support insisted over and over that the problem was NOT the computer but the devices (even though SEVERAL other computers had no problem with the devices). For two weeks, I did EVERYTHING tech support said to do at a GREAT time expense to myself. 4-hour diagnostics, resetting the computer software to fac. Spec 3 times (resulting in having to do XP updates, Dell updates, device driver updates, application activation and registrations a total of 4 times!). If I had wanted to do a month of tech support, I would have built the damn thing myself!

Tec service continued to tell me right up to day 21 that it was not the computer, but what we were trying to DO with the computer. Then, days 22-24, trying to call tech services resulted in long waits, getting cut off, getting transferred to the wrong divisions and ultimately being told that the system was down, could I please call back in 3-4 hours (which would have been midnight my time). In the meanwhile, because the graphics package they sold with the computer, WHICH they said was sufficient was NOT sufficient, I buy at my expense a graphics card that can handle the device only to find out that THERE IS NOT A SLOT TO INSTALL IT IN…

Day 25, trying to call Customer service to get the piece of shit returned, resulted in finding out that Customer service is CLOSED on Sunday. So, back to live chat with tech support who tells me, BASED ON THE SAME INFORMATION THEY HAD BEFORE, that the Motherboard is bad and needs to be replaced. They will do that. “No… I want to return it” “Sorry mam but it has been more than 21 days… all we can do is repair it.” “Will that fix the problem with needing to install the graphics card?” “Yes mam” “How? You are going to upgrade the mother board?” “No mam… it will be the same motherboard” “So how is that going to help the problem that I can not upgrade the graphics card?” “You have to get a PCI graphics card” … “How do I return this unit?” (even I know that PCI graphics cards suck)… “You will have to contact customer service when they are open” (that would be Day 26).

Back to today:

I end my recitation with “This does not even BEGIN to address my extreme embarrassment from, after spending a year convincing this senior citizen that he should get a computer, this fiasco happens when I am the one who suggest a Dell so that he would have a problem free experience. Instead, he now wants NOTHING to do with computer technology and feels that you have stolen his $800 and I can not blame him. I am sure that the Attny. General’s Consumer Fraud Division will be VERY interested to hear that Dell is taking advantage of a 70-year old man.”

At this point, the representative (remember: this is a person from the 1st line of defense which position yesterday was not able to authorize a return after 21-days) asks me to “Please hold the line” while she gets a return authorization number for me…

Two questions:
Am I being paranoid feeling that:
1) They intentionally jerked me around for two weeks, KNOWING there was a problem with the system, until the time to return was past?
2) Customer Service has a planned routine:
a. Make the customer go through the phone-tree-from-hell and 20-minute ‘hold’ hoping some people will decide it is not worth it at that point.
b. If the person DOES get through, tell them you can not help… Some people will accept your authority and go away.
c. If the person insists, pretend to send them to manager and cut them off… some people will be daunted by knowing they would have to do Step 1 again, and decide it is not worth it.
d. Of they DO call back, transfer to a ‘manager’ who says “I can not help, but I will (pretend) to put in a request for corporate to call you back.. I ASSURE you/guarantee they will call in 24-hours”… once again, some people will say screw it and just accept the repair when there is no call in 24-hours.
e. If the person DOES call back the next day, give in.

Really… am I paranoid?

Sunday, February 05, 2006

grrrrrrrr Part Deux

Ok.. may I just say... FUCK DELL ... and THANK YOU ANDY ...

Having gotten that out and up front, I will now vent...mostly because I can not get ahold of customer no-support until tomorrow and I am pissed off NOW...

Basic back story (for details see "grrrrrrrrrr" post earlier):
Spent over a year convincing a senior citizen that technology is not evil and bad and that he should get a good computer. I finally hooked him in with the concept of being able to take VHS and make DVD's out of them.... he is facinated by this...

So I suggest a Dell because I figure that is the easiest way for him to go... plug in, works right out of the box... no prob. So I research and find a good one for him... I check with Dell to be sure that this system can handle the Dazzle vid. capture device we are ALSO buying through Dell. No problem... so we buy the thing.

It gets there, we get it set-up, get all the registrations, activations, updates, etc. done only to find that the USB ports do not consistently recognize the USB devices... long story, but I tried EVERYTHING to get this thing to work...

To make matters worse, when the computer DOES deign to recognize the device as a dazzle, the audio protion of the capture works, but the audio gives just a green screen.

So I get in contact with Dell who tells me to do an extended diagnostic and if nothing is wrong to restore the soft ware to factory spec...

Done... have to do ALL of the registering, activations, updates, etc. again, but ok... taken care of ... EXACTALLY the same problems... Andy tries to help and manages to (bairly) keep me from setting fire to it... but alas, no joy...

All of the sudden the USB ports seem to be working ok, so I figure I accidentally did something that fixed the problem... ok..on to the vid part... we buy a new vid card (and a wireless internet card so I do not have to sit on my neighbors floor anymore) and go to install. THERE IS NO SLOT FOR THE CARD!!!!!!!!! Apparently you can only use PCI cards ... and even I know that PCI graphic cards are not a great idea...

And by the way? Now ALL USB ports are wonky... at least the keyboard worked before but NOT ANY MORE.

So.. new plan... return this peice of shit and build one...

So I go to try to figure out how to return it... apparently you have to call Customer No-Service but they are not in today... and apparently I only had 21 days to return the thing (today is day 24) ... so by attempting to work with them to get this thing working right, I missed the easy send back window...

So I get on-line with customer support and explain I want to send it back... they want detail AGAIN as to what the problem is... I sent them the transcripts from PAST chats with them and they come back that it is a motherboard problem and they will replace it. And tell me this will take care of ALL problems, vid included...

I clarify that and they say I have to get a PCI graphics card... My answer: Tell me how to send this thing back.

Apperently I have to call customer service for that... :::bashes head on counter:::
Fuck Dell... and I hope they do internet searches for the phrase "FUCK DELL" so that someone there reads this....

Not only have I been terribly embarressed by this whole thing, since I am the one who told him to get a Dell, but I am sure any tenuous relationship to technology he might have developed from a GOOD experience is now dashed...

So... just to sum up...
FUCK DELL .... and THANK YOU ANDY...

Friday, February 03, 2006

Why is it... Current mood: crappy

I wish someone could come up with a good reason that everytime I get into a 'happy' place in my life, someone or something decides they need to shit in my litter box...

I will just keep reminding myself that I am content and that nothing external can change that if I do not want it to...

I have to say, though that I am MUCH better at saying "No" and the occasional "Fuck off" (<--- that really does sound better in english) than I used to be... too bad that I have not yet mastered the art of not feeling guilty for doing it....

You know how sometimes you can not tell people how you feel?

2006-03-26T17:38:00.000-08:00

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Wow… this has been an interesting day.,, When I woke up this morning, I expected a four hour drive (is that the same as a three-hour tour?), a wonderful evening with some people that I really think I have come to love (now if I could stop being so completely bewildered by the fact that they seem to like ME), capping it off with an evening at a hotel…

What I got was a 4-hour drive where I was treated to a view of a respected co-worker that I had not yet been privileged to see… someone that I have liked and respected for the past 18 months, but who I now see with different eyes. Someone who has more depth then I was aware of before… someone who is more a person to me now…

I also got an interesting evening with people I think I love, that made me do some self-exploration, as well as giving me an opportunity to spend time with someone that I liked the first time I met her, but who I did not get to spend a lot of time getting to know…

As always, this fascinating group of people made me feel warm and welcome… they also made me feel proud to introduce them as my friends, when they took my coworker and made HIM feel welcome in their home.

I also got to face some things I had thought completely put away. A very nice person is going through a very bad time, which feels VERY familiar to me… 18-months familiar… things I thought I had dealt with and put away, were brought up to the front and I realized that some issues have NOT been dealt with… some things still hurt… some things that I understand intellectually but which apparently are still unresolved emotionally. It is good to know this because I need to get to work on these… I think sometimes, we work out a knot and put it away, thinking the whole tangle has been dealt with, when in reality, only one bit is fixed… this might be a self-protection mechanism to let us deal with things a bite at a time and apparently it is time for me to take another bite out of mine…

I also got to spend some time talking with someone who asked a relatively innocent question that knocked me on the floor with realizations that I had not faced before… I do not think he even knows what he did … lol…

For the past 6 months, I have been trying to figure out what is going on with me. I have not been acting like myself… I have been feeling things that I do not recognize and it is all centered around this group of people. I feel… different… when I am with them and I have not been able to puzzle out exactly what or why that is.

I have to admit, this has caused me to be a little uncomfortable for the basic reason that I overanalyze things and I know that one sign of mental deterioration is a radical change in personality. What I realized is that this odd feeling I have is being HAPPY… what exactly does it say about me when for 6 months I have interpreted being HAPPY as a mental defect?

I was literally floored… I was sitting having a conversation and all of the sudden I was having a panic attack… I was sitting on the couch and had to put my head on my knees…

In answering a question which I can not even remember specifically now, I was flooded with the realization of what these people have come to mean to me. I had not realized how tired I was of 20 year old habits… things which had a meaning at one time, but over time have lost their meaning and are simply that… meaningless habits.

I had not realized how much of a harbor this group of people had become of me… people who do not expect anything of me other than what I am… again… what does it say about me that it has taken me 6 months to understand this and when I do, it is with complete and utter bewildered suprise?

I love that these people are so warm and accepting… I love that these people seem to like who I am (again… bewildering… but nice)… I love that they trust me to talk to me about things that are really not my business and make me feel like I am doing them a favor when I butt my nose in… I love who I am when I am around these people… I like who I am becoming. My epiphany? This is one of the best things I have ever had come into my life…

It is also one of the scariest…

Painting the Kitchen Wall

2006-03-26T17:34:00.000-08:00

When I went to bed Friday, there was one thing I wanted to accomplish over this weekend. I wanted to get the kitchen wall painted.

So, I got up on Saturday and Sierra and I headed out to Home Depot… in order to paint the wall, apparently I needed to have paint…

I went to home depot for a 10$ can of paint… 200$ later, I left with a 10$ can of paint, 20 T-bar fence posts to finish the sacrifice section of the pasture, a fan for the kitchen and a bag of miscellaneous (but VERY important) items.

Ok… I am ready to paint the wall… as soon as I clear out the kitchen. That is ok… it is not really a waste of time since all that stuff needs to be moved out anyway. So, ok… lets clean out the kitchen.

Only one problem… most of the stuff in the kitchen is there because there was no room for it in the utility room… ok… not really a problem… I will just clean out the utility room… as soon as I clean out the garage so I have a place to put all the cra… I mean… stuff from the utility room…

*Cleaning the garage* JESUS GOD … where did all THIS stuff come from!?!?!? Ok… burn pile… no problem… small delay…

Ok… so… the garage is sort of cleaned up… at least I can get to where I need to get… trash is burned, recycling ready to go… the utility room is cleaned out, with the carpet pieces drying in the sun… small delay while Sierras parents come to visit… now I can clean the kitchen out… as soon as I go to the grocery to get the stuff (and make) salsa and enchiladas for tomorrows birthday dinner we are doing for someone.

Ok… bedtime… I will deal with it all tomorrow…

Sunday morning dawns WAY too early… but as I lay there trying to talk myself into getting up, I find myself staring up at the light fixture… the newish one that has been dangling for several months, waiting for me to complete the installation… I have all the things I need… why have I not done it? All of the sudden, finishing that seem muy importante… so I get up and fix that… ok… all set to paint the wall … after I get the rest of dinner ready to go…

Ok… dinner set and sent… kitchen table pulled out, first paint on the wall… now I just have to wait for it to dry… I will go ahead and cut the first of the frames while I am waiting… measure twice cut once… ok.. in reality it is measure once, go out to mark and cut, get distracted by something and forget the measurement.

The 'something' this time is the planks that are leaning on the saw I need to use… they are for making the window frames/sills for the new windows in the big house… why do I keep moving those boards around? I will just make the frames…

Frames are done… and the wall is dry! Next coat… hummm… maybe I will go ahead and install the kitchen fan… hint to all that will install a fan… dropping the fan motor on the floor while standing on a chair is NOT conducive to easy fan installations. Fan works!! WHOOT!!

Dinner was great, by the way… green enchiladas, soft tacos, tostados, fresh salsa and chips with homemade cream-puffs for dessert… mmmmmmmmm…

By the time I get home and feed the angimals, the wall is dry enough for the first coat of touch up the white … then the second…

So … 48 hours later, my one goal for the weekend is completed… when someone at work tomorrow asks me what I did this weekend, I will say:

"I painted the kitchen wall…"

Wow! Fishies!

2006-01-12T20:04:00.000-08:00

There is an entire world out there that I did not know existed! If any of you ever gets a chance to go to the Willamette Hatchery, GOOOOOO!!! It is a wonderful (might I say, magical?) sort of place.
First there is the technical... a few details:
They go to a damn and bring the female and male salmon up to the spawning ponds... they bring about one third more females than males which end with them having about the same amount of each.
When it is time (this part is sad) they kill the fish and take the eggs and sperm. They mix these... each female will give around 4000 eggs... they then raise these eggs until hatching..
Coolest thing #1 - they have a machine that takes each of the eggs, shines a light through it and determines if it is viable or not.... a puff of air discardes it, if not...
Cool Detail: Each fish, when it hatches, is still attached to its egg sack... it carries the egg sack under its belly (which is still open to the inside of the egg sack) and lives off the yolk from that.. for almost a month! When the egg sack has been reabsorbed, if everything works right, the slit then closes and you have a 'weaned' fish.
So... they then raise these fish and release them to live out the normal life cycle...
Coolest thing #2) There were several ponds of fish, all the same age, that range in size from a few inches to a foot or so... they effect the size of the fish in a calculated way by adjusting the amount of feed! There are computer programmes that tell them how much to feed the fish and on what schedual so they reach a desired size at a desired time! Woh!
Ok... most disturbing thing I learned... they actually put a dye in the fish food that makes the meat of the hatchery fish pink because the fishermen like it better... that is just wrong...
So... basically, I had a BLAST!!!!!!!! (do not tell my boss, please... :)

Evolution and ID

2005-10-21T15:11:00.000-07:00

There is always so much to say about this topic...

I think we should start out with the following link:

http://abstractfactory.blogspot.com/2005/10/only-debate-on-intelligent-design-that.html

I would very seriously suggest going and reading ... the original post is cute and funny ... Definitely worth a read... However, the real meat of the matter comes later... in the comments...

So lets do this... you folks go read there and then (if you feel like it) come on back here and lets have a discussion about some of the issues the responses bring up...

*******

The issues here can be broken down into several categories... the first could are the ones I posted I the comments section of the other blog...

1) If I misunderstood evolution the same way creationists misunderstand it, I would not "believe" it either.

In five years, I have not had ANY creationist come to me with an argument against evolution that I have not been able to say to myself (or others) "I see where they might ask that question, but it is based on something they are misunderstanding."

Or are choosing to be willfully ignorant about. Iin the same five years, I can count on one finger the number of creationists who actually WENT to www.talkorigins.com and READ what was there... and while that person still believes that their god started the whole mess, they now feel that evolution got us from there to here.

I think it comes down to the whole concept that is the basis of Christianity... "Do not try to figure things out on your own, it is MUCH better if you just sit back and leave the thinking to us."

The difference is that people like (*gasp*) ME would prefer to educate ourselves on things and just do not understand these people who want the Cliffs notes and never to be bothered with verifying the information....

#2) Evolution is a fact... it happens...

The "Theory" is the HOW part of "how" evolution ocures...

I guess that is enough for now... lets see who comes to play...

Perception

2005-10-19T15:42:00.000-07:00

On lap 29, something occurred to me ... how one sees the world is going to be determined (for the most part) by what they are looking for...

Example...

I have had a feeling all week that something 'big' was going to happen. Something positive and good. The result of this everything that happens, I evaluate it to see where it fits into that feeling.

I look at the people around me with a different template... where could THAT person or THIS person fit into this 'feeling' ... each task or assignment at work becomes an 'opportunity' instead of a chore.

That 'feeling' becomes a self-fullfilling prophecy... I am perceiving the world around me in a positive way because I am looking for the positive in everything I perceive...

Taking the plunge...

2005-10-18T22:45:00.000-07:00

I decided to take the plunge and see what happens. I am not sure how much time I will have to spend on this but it looks like it might be fun.

I will welcome any comments people have to make to me...

Now... does anyone have anything they would like to talk about? lol