As the conversations swirled about madly, I discovered (among the theist-baiting) that there were some very basic concepts I had never really explored completely. I found concepts about myself challenged and I found myself forced into developing a cohesiveness of thought on subjects I had not even considered that I needed to consider.
I was asked... "What are you?"
"What do you MEAN what am I?"
How in the world can they be asking me to define myself when I am so many things? I am... well... I... hummmm... what AM I?
I discovered that I did not really know...
Oh... there were the obvious ones... so I thought I would start with those... I am an animal... I am a member of the human race.... I am of a gender... I am of a nation...
As I started listing these things, I realized that none of these labels were sufficient within themselves to label myself... so I started the search to see what label was...
Because of who I was socializing with, I guess it was natural that one of the things I started exploring was what my beliefs were regarding a god or gods...
I had never really thought about it much... is there a god? I had not seen any evidence of one, but a lot of people believed in one, so that made it real enough...
This is not to say that I have ever believed that a god exists... but I DID feel that a god CONCEPT existed and that really is the same thing... it does not matter if someones action is based on a belief in a god or not... it is still their action... and I will still hold them responsible for their actions, make my judgements based on what they do, etc, whether or not THEY hold THEMSELVES responsible for their actions or not.
But as time continued and I had more interaction with the theists and atheists of cyberspace, it became clear that life did not really work out like this.
As I was sorting through things, I went through various phases of 'belief'... at first, I was surprised to see that there was even a reason to have a discussion. How in the world can a belief in something for which there is no evidence of existence be of influence in peoples lives?
Until that point, while I knew that individual faith could be irrelevant or a driving force depending on the individual in question, I had never really thought about how it effected me or others. Probably because my lack of belief does not effect those around me, it never occurred to me that others might effect me.
But then I was exposed, through PalTalk and then the Atheist Network, to the most offensive and foul creature out there... the Fundy.
It does not matter what religion (or lack thereof) we are speaking of... all have their fundamentalists. But it seems that there is definitely a larger percentage of fundamentalist christians trolling the Internet looking for someone to force their beliefs on than any other group one could name. I have been utterly shocked at the absolute lack of integrity and manners exhibited by these 'people'.
People who come to a space labeled "Atheist Network", without invitation, of their own volition and then tell us how offensive it is to them that we are atheists. They came to the site (as if the title of the site was "Please come and convert us" to tell us that we, as atheists, are the worst sort of human on the planet. Lower than those of other (false) religions... lower than the worst murderer, the worst child molester. To tell us that we are not worth the air we breath and that we pollute the land we stand upon.
Yet... when asked why they were subjecting themselves to such evil, said "Because we love you... "
We are told that we have no morals... before they have even bothered to find out who we are, what our lives are about. Based on NOTHING MORE than the fact that we do not believe that their god exists, we lack all morals. When asked to tell me specifically what immoral behavior I engage in, I am usually told
"You do not believe in god"The conversation usually continues along the lines of:
"But you said I am lacking in morals. So you are saying that the ONLY moral that exists is 'belief in god'?"
"No... there are other morals"
"So what are the 'other' morals that, as an atheist, I do not have?"
"I do not know specifically about you, but as an atheist, you are immoral."
"But HOW am I immoral?"
"You do not believe in god..."
"You already said that... "
"I will pray for you... "
After a while, I started wondering what I was missing out on due to my god belief. So I asked "The Question". It seemed to me that there must be some grand benefit to society in people believing in this entity, considering there is zero evidence for its existence. As of yet, no one has presented any credible evidence of existence and no one has provided me with a benefit to society that would make me belief even in the absence of evidence.
But I DO get prayed for an awfully lot.
So who am I? What am I? I went through my phases, but in the end, I am the same as I have always been... an animal of the human species who lives in a nation on this earth. I take my showers, brush my teeth... I wear clothes in order to be socially acceptable and I attempt to get my body into a state acceptable to me for my health and to my mate for his pleasure. I go to work, I raised my children. I swim, I read, I fish.
Oh yah... an I just happen to not have a belief in a god.
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