I have decided that you Physics geeks make things much more difficult than it has to be…
All that science and la-de-da equations? Waste of time.. .
You want proof that time is relative? Easy..
Have you ever noticed how when you are driving to someplace fun it takes longer than when you are driving someplace you do not want to go?
Along the same lines, a two hour party with cool people last about 1 hour, but a two hour duty-party with Aunt Thelma? DAYS!
Look at work … today is the longest week I have ever had…
Add in vacation… one week at work lasts a month, while a week with the clan in Seattle takes about 2 parsecs.
See? Time is relative…
(eat your heart out Einstein!)
Friday, October 13, 2006
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
A Parable in Progress
Once upon a time, a theist heard about a zoo that had started collecting an alien species called "Atheist". He asked his friend (who told him about this "Atheist" creature), "What is an atheist?"
His friend explained that an Atheist is a small furry creature, with 6 eyes, purple or green fur, 5 arms, 3 legs with no verbal skills. The friend told the theist, that the Atheist was estimated to have an intelligence level similar to that of a large rat with horns and that they eat their young. They also throw temper-tantrums and run in circles and throw poop.
This intrigued the theist who decided that he needed to see this for himself, so he made the journey to the Atheist Zoo, completely convinced that if he only told them the magic thing, then they would see the truth and it would magically turn them into REAL (TM) people.
When he got there, he made his way to the main exhibit. There were signs up all over the place, warning people not to antagonize the residents of the exhibit. He thought to himself "Why.. I am not intending to antagonize anyone... I simply intend to ENLIGHTEN them... once I tell them the MAGIC thing, they will be so grateful that they fall over themselves to thank me for saving them from themselves.. they will hail me as a great intellect and make me their leader!"
With that, feeling very virtuous, the theist entered the viewing room and looked around but did not see any 'atheists'. He walked up to a group of people who seemed to be in conversation and asked "Excuse me, but I do not see any atheists... are they on display today?".
The people in the group looked to him and said "Well.. we are atheists.."
"No no.. that can not be true", the theist exclaimed, "You are not small furry creature, with 6 eyes, purple or green fur, 5 arms, 3 legs... and you speak! You can not be atheists!"
One person from the group in discussion, leaned over and told the theist "Ummm.. we know you probably have been told a lot of things about atheist and most of them probably are not true... if you are interested in spending time with us and learning about what we REALLY are like, then we will be happy to talk to you."
Skeptical, the theist did not really believe this, because they all looked like everyone else he know, but decided to explore further to see what these peoples joke was. The theist looked around the viewing room. There was a large table where the so called "atheist' were sitting. There were several chairs, all taken, but there were several of them standing and leaning around the main group. As he watched, several of the atheist came and went in and out of the room and discussion group.
All around the room, there were chairs placed so that newcomers could come and join the conversation. He noticed several people that came into the room would grab an empty chair and pull up to the outskirts of the discussion group, sitting and listening awhile to see what was going on. After a while, they would move their chairs a little deeper into the group and introduce themselves. These people were offered a variety of things, from coffee, tea and muffins, to saws, jackets and divorce lawyers. Once the welcoming ritual had been completely, the theist noted that the newcomer would hesitantly start asking question and offering opinions. The more the newcomer got involved and became more comfortable, the more spirited the discussions got. Many allegiances seemed to shift and sort, but in the end, the fun was in the discussion.
After a short time, the theist decided that it was time to tell these people the Magic Thing. So he waded up to the group, pushing and shoving people out of his way and pushed a person at the centre of the group off the chair he wanted. He took that chair and rapped on the table to get everyone’s attention.
"I am now going to tell you the magic thing. I am sure you have never heard it since you do not think the way I do, but I am certain that you will drop to your knees to thank me when you hear the Magic Thing."
The theist then imparted the Magic Thing and sat back with a satisfied look waiting for the adulation to start. It took him a few seconds to realize that the noise he was hearing was not cheers to him, but some peoples gears. Others were trying to explain to him that this was not new... it had been heard and addressed many times before. The theist knew this could not be true, because if they had heard it before, they would know it was "TRUTH" and they would believe the way he did."
Several of the discussion group tried to explain that his statement, the Magic Thing, was not true and the reasons why. They told him, if you are going to say this is true, then we need something to go on other than "because I say it.." They listed with clarity and logic why his statement was patently not supported and asked him to back up his statement with support for his opinion.
The theist was taken aback... what these atheists were saying was inconceivable. How could they not see the truth? Had he not just TOLD them? Through his shock, he heard their voices, but was unable to understand anything they were telling him. It was impossible for him to think past the shock of them feeling that his opinion was not the appropriate supporting information for his opinion. How DARE they!?!? The barbarians!
Overwhelmed by the babble noise of these ungrateful wretches, he panicked when he realized that he was in the middle, surrounded. He brought to bear the only weapon at his disposal, the weapon learned and honed by all of the people throughout his life whose words had lowered HIS self esteem. He started lashing out, bringing into question their intelligence and ability to speak. He started throwing out phrases like "circular reasoning" and "sit around congratulating yourselves"... phrases that really did not make sense under the circumstances, but in his panic, were the only ones he could come up with, since they were the ones most frequently thrown at him, by people not willing to buy into his feeble attempts at overcoming the self-esteem damage done by an upbringing which told him he was nothing more than a piece of shit.
The illogical verbal attacks only brought more and more laughter and ridicule from the gathered atheists as they realized that this pathetic attempt at insult was nothing more than the theists way of trying to get himself out of a situation WAY over his head without admitting he had no idea what he was talking about. None pursued him as he left, but were more than happy to laugh at him more as they dodged the continuous flow of poo he flung on his way to the door.
The theist went home feeling completely shaken. He comforted himself by thinking about how evil this 'Atheist' creature is.
As he was walking down the street, a friend of his came up to him and asked how the visit tot he atheists went... he shuddered and said "It was the most horrible experience of my life...I went to them and explained that I only wanted to learn from them and they turned on me and tried to rip out my arms and eyes... then, I noticed that they were in pain and I offered my assistance and they spat upon me. Even then, I still tried to show them my friendship, tried to show them how I was not there to change them, but to envelope them in my tolerance of their ways... they were brutal, savage creatures. "
His friend asked "What are they like?" to which the theist replied "They are small furry creature, with 6 eyes, purple or green fur, 5 arms, 3 legs with no verbal skills. They eat their young and throw poo."
His friend explained that an Atheist is a small furry creature, with 6 eyes, purple or green fur, 5 arms, 3 legs with no verbal skills. The friend told the theist, that the Atheist was estimated to have an intelligence level similar to that of a large rat with horns and that they eat their young. They also throw temper-tantrums and run in circles and throw poop.
This intrigued the theist who decided that he needed to see this for himself, so he made the journey to the Atheist Zoo, completely convinced that if he only told them the magic thing, then they would see the truth and it would magically turn them into REAL (TM) people.
When he got there, he made his way to the main exhibit. There were signs up all over the place, warning people not to antagonize the residents of the exhibit. He thought to himself "Why.. I am not intending to antagonize anyone... I simply intend to ENLIGHTEN them... once I tell them the MAGIC thing, they will be so grateful that they fall over themselves to thank me for saving them from themselves.. they will hail me as a great intellect and make me their leader!"
With that, feeling very virtuous, the theist entered the viewing room and looked around but did not see any 'atheists'. He walked up to a group of people who seemed to be in conversation and asked "Excuse me, but I do not see any atheists... are they on display today?".
The people in the group looked to him and said "Well.. we are atheists.."
"No no.. that can not be true", the theist exclaimed, "You are not small furry creature, with 6 eyes, purple or green fur, 5 arms, 3 legs... and you speak! You can not be atheists!"
One person from the group in discussion, leaned over and told the theist "Ummm.. we know you probably have been told a lot of things about atheist and most of them probably are not true... if you are interested in spending time with us and learning about what we REALLY are like, then we will be happy to talk to you."
Skeptical, the theist did not really believe this, because they all looked like everyone else he know, but decided to explore further to see what these peoples joke was. The theist looked around the viewing room. There was a large table where the so called "atheist' were sitting. There were several chairs, all taken, but there were several of them standing and leaning around the main group. As he watched, several of the atheist came and went in and out of the room and discussion group.
All around the room, there were chairs placed so that newcomers could come and join the conversation. He noticed several people that came into the room would grab an empty chair and pull up to the outskirts of the discussion group, sitting and listening awhile to see what was going on. After a while, they would move their chairs a little deeper into the group and introduce themselves. These people were offered a variety of things, from coffee, tea and muffins, to saws, jackets and divorce lawyers. Once the welcoming ritual had been completely, the theist noted that the newcomer would hesitantly start asking question and offering opinions. The more the newcomer got involved and became more comfortable, the more spirited the discussions got. Many allegiances seemed to shift and sort, but in the end, the fun was in the discussion.
After a short time, the theist decided that it was time to tell these people the Magic Thing. So he waded up to the group, pushing and shoving people out of his way and pushed a person at the centre of the group off the chair he wanted. He took that chair and rapped on the table to get everyone’s attention.
"I am now going to tell you the magic thing. I am sure you have never heard it since you do not think the way I do, but I am certain that you will drop to your knees to thank me when you hear the Magic Thing."
The theist then imparted the Magic Thing and sat back with a satisfied look waiting for the adulation to start. It took him a few seconds to realize that the noise he was hearing was not cheers to him, but some peoples gears. Others were trying to explain to him that this was not new... it had been heard and addressed many times before. The theist knew this could not be true, because if they had heard it before, they would know it was "TRUTH" and they would believe the way he did."
Several of the discussion group tried to explain that his statement, the Magic Thing, was not true and the reasons why. They told him, if you are going to say this is true, then we need something to go on other than "because I say it.." They listed with clarity and logic why his statement was patently not supported and asked him to back up his statement with support for his opinion.
The theist was taken aback... what these atheists were saying was inconceivable. How could they not see the truth? Had he not just TOLD them? Through his shock, he heard their voices, but was unable to understand anything they were telling him. It was impossible for him to think past the shock of them feeling that his opinion was not the appropriate supporting information for his opinion. How DARE they!?!? The barbarians!
Overwhelmed by the babble noise of these ungrateful wretches, he panicked when he realized that he was in the middle, surrounded. He brought to bear the only weapon at his disposal, the weapon learned and honed by all of the people throughout his life whose words had lowered HIS self esteem. He started lashing out, bringing into question their intelligence and ability to speak. He started throwing out phrases like "circular reasoning" and "sit around congratulating yourselves"... phrases that really did not make sense under the circumstances, but in his panic, were the only ones he could come up with, since they were the ones most frequently thrown at him, by people not willing to buy into his feeble attempts at overcoming the self-esteem damage done by an upbringing which told him he was nothing more than a piece of shit.
The illogical verbal attacks only brought more and more laughter and ridicule from the gathered atheists as they realized that this pathetic attempt at insult was nothing more than the theists way of trying to get himself out of a situation WAY over his head without admitting he had no idea what he was talking about. None pursued him as he left, but were more than happy to laugh at him more as they dodged the continuous flow of poo he flung on his way to the door.
The theist went home feeling completely shaken. He comforted himself by thinking about how evil this 'Atheist' creature is.
As he was walking down the street, a friend of his came up to him and asked how the visit tot he atheists went... he shuddered and said "It was the most horrible experience of my life...I went to them and explained that I only wanted to learn from them and they turned on me and tried to rip out my arms and eyes... then, I noticed that they were in pain and I offered my assistance and they spat upon me. Even then, I still tried to show them my friendship, tried to show them how I was not there to change them, but to envelope them in my tolerance of their ways... they were brutal, savage creatures. "
His friend asked "What are they like?" to which the theist replied "They are small furry creature, with 6 eyes, purple or green fur, 5 arms, 3 legs with no verbal skills. They eat their young and throw poo."
Life Changes
I was privileged enough to be invited to read the blog of someone I am beginning to find quite fascinating. In his blog, he wrote an entry about the things he is doing to improve himself and most of what he said struck a cord with me … much of that blog could have been written about me.
In writing to him to tell him that, I found myself subjecting him to a MUCH longer dissertation that I really intended (If you are reading this, sorry about that!)… I guess there was a lot more there waiting to be said than I thought.
Since it seems that this topic is a lot more important to me at this time, I thought I would go ahead and put parts here as well.
****
When I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia (after a year of being told it was all in my head,,, lol) I had the mixed feelings of relief that it actually WAS something and it had a name and devastation because the outlook was so chronically dismal.
I was lucky that I had access to the research being done and found out about the sleep disorder aspect of when that was just being 'discovered' and was able to start right away in dealing with it. I can, with a few adjustments to my normal lifestyle, head it off when it gets going, but that does not stop the occasional bouts of 'why me' and 'this is crap' I get when I get down about things.
{snip irrelevant stuff}
I spent a lot of time right after the divorce restarting my life. For the first 16 months, it was all about getting resettled with house renovations, learning a new job, etc. It was not until last year (around this time) that I realized that I was basically happy with my life, but that there were areas I needed to work on. Mine were very similar to yours in many ways.
The first thing I did was to admit that I needed help with depression. I had been in denial for a long time. One of the most common things people in my situation say is "… I was in denial for a long time, but one I started on the meds, I could not believe I waited so long…" That was me…
It took someone pointing out that I had just gone through all of the major life stressor but one and that one happened three months later. I divorced, I moved to a different state, I bought the farm (in the good way…lol) on my own, new job and had more interaction with a sick parent (enough that I could not remain in denial about that as well). My friend told me that after all of that, it would be odd if I did NOT need meds… So, I bit the bullet and requested the Rx… it was the best thing I ever did.
That helped give me some perspective… the meds are a useful tool to take care of the chemical issues, but realistically, they do not 'solve' a lot of the real issues. I decided to use the clarity the meds gave me to make a plan.
I started loosing weight. I had already lost some, but that was more a bi-product of all the other 'stuff' than a real issue… but it gave me a starting point. I was going to get serious now and I did. Watching what I ate and swimming.
The swimming was part duex. I had gotten sedentary again and I knew that had to stop, since I also know that exercise helps my chemical imbalance… lol … the upshot is that I lost about 50 pounds and started shaping up. I lost my momentum when my Mom died, but I joined a gym this month for the classes. I am concentrating on Yoga and Pilates until I gain some strength (and stamina after being sick) and will then work back up to weights and cardio. I had forgotten how much I love doing yoga… I may have to prop my arms up to type this, since I am pretty sure last nights instructor is a descendant of Attila the Hun, but I am more flexible, damn it!
I also decided I need to get out more and make the effort to make friends. I too am a fairly solitary person. I am happy to be by myself most of the time and I cherish the real friends I have. But I started to see that it was not enough and that my whole life, I had been shortchanging and limiting myself by not making more of an effort to include more people in my life.
It was funny how that one got solved… one day, Opiate69 (from the board) started talking about the battle of the bands he was going to be in in Seattle. I thought to myself "Gee… I wish I could go to… wait a minute… why not!" … So I made arraignments to go. I stayed at the hostel (there is a whole other 'made new friends' story) and went to Amber/Arch/D-Smacks Halloween party. I fell in love with them. I go up about once every 6-weeks and they come here sometimes. I really enjoy being a part of their circle, but… a few weeks ago, it pointed out something else I do not like about myself.
I was on a camping trip with them and a friend of theirs asked me "Are you always this self-contained?" … There was a chorus of "Yes!" all around me. It upset me and I had no idea why. I am still not sure why that was upsetting to me, but I am working on that. I think it may fall under your "Open up to people more…", which actually is why you are getting the story of my current life as a mini-doctoral thesis… {snip} … maybe this is something that happens to all 37 year olds… hehe…
{snip}… Re: "Simplify" concept. I have been working on all the things I have let slide to put them in order. Cleaning-up the minor things on the credit report, getting rid of things, which is a really hard one for me… pack-rat-itis is painful to cure.
Actually, I think it is like alcoholism in that there really is no cure… we can only treat the symptoms. I try to take it a little at a time. I weed out books, keeping only the ones I am sure I can not do without and then go back the next month and weed out more. I finally gave away the 2-years of accumulated grocery bags to the local co-op. New rule… I can only keep 5 around the house. I am giving away most of my yarn. If it is not already committed to a project, OUT DAMN YARN...OUT!
One big one I am working on is being better about meeting obligations. I tend to over promise and disappoint people (and myself) when I have to cancel things. I also procrastinate, but once I decided that most of my procrastination is fear of the unknown, that has been getting better.
One thing about this last couple of years... I have started a million times (ok... maybe a *little* hyperbole) to 'better myself' and always failed at it. This time, from the very start, it was... different. I *knew* from the beginning that, this time, I was going to succeed. I cannot explain the feeling, but there was a commitment to 'the plan' that I had never had before. I still feel that way. When I look forward, I get the same feeling as when you finally decide to jump into that pool and you just DO it, if that makes any sense.
At the same time, I am less ridged... more flexible and forgiving about my lapses (which happen). I no longer see them as failures, just one more change I need to make. I feel like, for the first time, I am in control.
Something else happened when *** died... I became less of a 'nice' person... but I became a much more honest, sincere and REAL person. It was really weird. Where I used to take crap from people just to not cause a scene, or to not make someone feel bad, etc... I no longer do that. I have learned how to be honest and straightforward, instead of avoiding honesty and straightforward for the sake of social comfort. I do not mean that I go out looking for trouble or intentionally embarrass people. One example was actually this morning when someone wanted to gossip about someone else. Normally, I would have listened to them to not cause a flap, but today, I simply said "I really would prefer it if you did not tell me those things. That is really personal between x and y and I am uncomfortable speculating on it." I love feeling like I can do that now.
I am sorry this turned into true confessions, but I found that once I started typing, it was hard to stop. A lot of things here that I had never put into words. I think I may post part of this on my blog as well.
In writing to him to tell him that, I found myself subjecting him to a MUCH longer dissertation that I really intended (If you are reading this, sorry about that!)… I guess there was a lot more there waiting to be said than I thought.
Since it seems that this topic is a lot more important to me at this time, I thought I would go ahead and put parts here as well.
****
When I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia (after a year of being told it was all in my head,,, lol) I had the mixed feelings of relief that it actually WAS something and it had a name and devastation because the outlook was so chronically dismal.
I was lucky that I had access to the research being done and found out about the sleep disorder aspect of when that was just being 'discovered' and was able to start right away in dealing with it. I can, with a few adjustments to my normal lifestyle, head it off when it gets going, but that does not stop the occasional bouts of 'why me' and 'this is crap' I get when I get down about things.
{snip irrelevant stuff}
I spent a lot of time right after the divorce restarting my life. For the first 16 months, it was all about getting resettled with house renovations, learning a new job, etc. It was not until last year (around this time) that I realized that I was basically happy with my life, but that there were areas I needed to work on. Mine were very similar to yours in many ways.
The first thing I did was to admit that I needed help with depression. I had been in denial for a long time. One of the most common things people in my situation say is "… I was in denial for a long time, but one I started on the meds, I could not believe I waited so long…" That was me…
It took someone pointing out that I had just gone through all of the major life stressor but one and that one happened three months later. I divorced, I moved to a different state, I bought the farm (in the good way…lol) on my own, new job and had more interaction with a sick parent (enough that I could not remain in denial about that as well). My friend told me that after all of that, it would be odd if I did NOT need meds… So, I bit the bullet and requested the Rx… it was the best thing I ever did.
That helped give me some perspective… the meds are a useful tool to take care of the chemical issues, but realistically, they do not 'solve' a lot of the real issues. I decided to use the clarity the meds gave me to make a plan.
I started loosing weight. I had already lost some, but that was more a bi-product of all the other 'stuff' than a real issue… but it gave me a starting point. I was going to get serious now and I did. Watching what I ate and swimming.
The swimming was part duex. I had gotten sedentary again and I knew that had to stop, since I also know that exercise helps my chemical imbalance… lol … the upshot is that I lost about 50 pounds and started shaping up. I lost my momentum when my Mom died, but I joined a gym this month for the classes. I am concentrating on Yoga and Pilates until I gain some strength (and stamina after being sick) and will then work back up to weights and cardio. I had forgotten how much I love doing yoga… I may have to prop my arms up to type this, since I am pretty sure last nights instructor is a descendant of Attila the Hun, but I am more flexible, damn it!
I also decided I need to get out more and make the effort to make friends. I too am a fairly solitary person. I am happy to be by myself most of the time and I cherish the real friends I have. But I started to see that it was not enough and that my whole life, I had been shortchanging and limiting myself by not making more of an effort to include more people in my life.
It was funny how that one got solved… one day, Opiate69 (from the board) started talking about the battle of the bands he was going to be in in Seattle. I thought to myself "Gee… I wish I could go to… wait a minute… why not!" … So I made arraignments to go. I stayed at the hostel (there is a whole other 'made new friends' story) and went to Amber/Arch/D-Smacks Halloween party. I fell in love with them. I go up about once every 6-weeks and they come here sometimes. I really enjoy being a part of their circle, but… a few weeks ago, it pointed out something else I do not like about myself.
I was on a camping trip with them and a friend of theirs asked me "Are you always this self-contained?" … There was a chorus of "Yes!" all around me. It upset me and I had no idea why. I am still not sure why that was upsetting to me, but I am working on that. I think it may fall under your "Open up to people more…", which actually is why you are getting the story of my current life as a mini-doctoral thesis… {snip} … maybe this is something that happens to all 37 year olds… hehe…
{snip}… Re: "Simplify" concept. I have been working on all the things I have let slide to put them in order. Cleaning-up the minor things on the credit report, getting rid of things, which is a really hard one for me… pack-rat-itis is painful to cure.
Actually, I think it is like alcoholism in that there really is no cure… we can only treat the symptoms. I try to take it a little at a time. I weed out books, keeping only the ones I am sure I can not do without and then go back the next month and weed out more. I finally gave away the 2-years of accumulated grocery bags to the local co-op. New rule… I can only keep 5 around the house. I am giving away most of my yarn. If it is not already committed to a project, OUT DAMN YARN...OUT!
One big one I am working on is being better about meeting obligations. I tend to over promise and disappoint people (and myself) when I have to cancel things. I also procrastinate, but once I decided that most of my procrastination is fear of the unknown, that has been getting better.
One thing about this last couple of years... I have started a million times (ok... maybe a *little* hyperbole) to 'better myself' and always failed at it. This time, from the very start, it was... different. I *knew* from the beginning that, this time, I was going to succeed. I cannot explain the feeling, but there was a commitment to 'the plan' that I had never had before. I still feel that way. When I look forward, I get the same feeling as when you finally decide to jump into that pool and you just DO it, if that makes any sense.
At the same time, I am less ridged... more flexible and forgiving about my lapses (which happen). I no longer see them as failures, just one more change I need to make. I feel like, for the first time, I am in control.
Something else happened when *** died... I became less of a 'nice' person... but I became a much more honest, sincere and REAL person. It was really weird. Where I used to take crap from people just to not cause a scene, or to not make someone feel bad, etc... I no longer do that. I have learned how to be honest and straightforward, instead of avoiding honesty and straightforward for the sake of social comfort. I do not mean that I go out looking for trouble or intentionally embarrass people. One example was actually this morning when someone wanted to gossip about someone else. Normally, I would have listened to them to not cause a flap, but today, I simply said "I really would prefer it if you did not tell me those things. That is really personal between x and y and I am uncomfortable speculating on it." I love feeling like I can do that now.
I am sorry this turned into true confessions, but I found that once I started typing, it was hard to stop. A lot of things here that I had never put into words. I think I may post part of this on my blog as well.
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Transfered from MySpace
Monday, February 27, 2006
Random thought for today...
If they had used instant oatmeal on the shuttle, that tile would NEVER have come off....
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Ahhhhh... conspicuous consumerism.... **drool**
I have met my hypocrisy and its name is shopping...
I have always thought of myself as a logical person... I plan things - this means if I need something, I figure out how to afford and obtain it. If I WANT something, I think about it for a LONG time, weighing the wants against the needs... usually, I end up not getting things, not because I do not want them, but because I am a cheapskate who has a very hard time parting with money and when it comes time to purchase things, I 'just say no" sometimes to a fault...
I sometimes laugh a little at people who buy just to have... not people who spend money and buy nice things... that is not the same thing... but people who buy JUST to own...
Until today... after today, I will never laugh again, for I have seen the pleasure in consumerism...
I have to admit to a bit of shame over it... I should not be feeling this pleasure from buying things... I can see where it could become addictive... the power, the pleasure in walking into a store and saying ... "I will buy this and this and this.... " about things I do not technically NEED, but that I want... to not worry over the price.. to not say "that is the one I want, but this one is cheaper, more logical and by all means the more practical choice...'... to not say I would really like 6 towels, but do I REALLY need them, when I could make do with 4?
Could I have used that money for other things? Hell yes... but for once, instead of being 100esponsible, I choose to be 5/6ths responsible and 1/6 irresponsible... and you know what?
It really feels good... it REALLY feels good.
So now I have 6 towels that actually match! And a kitchen runner... and a new bathmat, that I really did not NEED but it sure looks great...
And my major indulgence? (shhhhhh... do not tell anyone, but I actually own a new tv... and it is AWESOME)
Now I just need to figure out how to NOT want to indulge like this all the time... it is going to be hard to go back to being a penny pinching...
Oh yeah... and the septic system is fixed! WHOOT!!!!!!!
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Scales
So... while enjoying watching the clan shop for a new coffee maker, my magpie-eye catches sight of a really nifty scale.I have been thinking about that scale for several days, so apparently, I need to buy it. I went on Fry's and can not find it listed under the brand I THOUGHT it was so I go web browsing to see what I can find... I found a talking scale ... it talks ... I would step-up onto it and it would VERBALLY tell me I am fat. Who in the world (excluding blind people of course) needs THAT in their lives? There is just something so very wrong about that concept.The only up side is that you would avoid that early morning "Ok... I am standing naked on this scale... I will flip the light on quickly to see what it reads.. I really do not want to do this... *stall stall* ... ok.. freezing now... " issue. But the alternative? I would be starting every day hearing "Yes... you are fat... now please get off me... you are squishing my contacts."*sigh*
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Cold outside, warm inside...
One of the best things about winter weather is being outside in the cold just long enough to really appreciate the warm when you come in...
It occurs to me that this is really no different in our hearts... the chill of being alone makes the warm of friends so much more enjoyable...
Cold outside and warm in...
Really... does it get much better than this?
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Do I HAVE too?!?!?
Ok... fair is fair...
I bitched about all the frustration, so now it is only fair that when they let something that was MY fault slide, I mention it too... I am doing this, not because I think anyone wants to hear more about my dellhell, but because... well... fair is fair...
Several days after I packed up the Dell and got it sent on its way, I noticed that the power strip I had pulled from the TV set-up to use for the computer, was still running from the wall, across the floor and into the middle of the room... this is a great example that if I step over something enough, my mind no longer sees that it is present.... which basically explains how my house can get as messy as it (often) does...but that is off the subject...
So my eyes naturally FOLLOW said power strip to the centre of the room... NOT to behind the couch, or under the table or into another room.... no... to the CENTRE of the room! And low and behold! What do I see!?!?
The POWER CORD FOR THE DELL... plugged in.... with the other end going ... yeap... nowhere!
After scrambling my brain looking for a way to get mad at Dell for this, I come to the conclusion that this one is all on me... of course it is the weekend so I can not do anything about it and in my illness yesterday, I forgot...
So today driving home I called Dell ... the phone tree from hell lead my directly to a live person! No hold! (Yes kiddies... I think you all better start preparing for the Apocalypse) where a very nice young man ("Mike") spent 20 minutes looking up things on the computer to tell me that there is no need for me to send it back, the issue has been dealt with...
I do feel really bad because right after I said "Wow.. thank you very much" and he started to say something, my cell phone dropped the call... why my phone insists on dropping calls to Dell every time I am being nice, I do not know...
That is one of the most irritating things about their phone system... I knew that there was no way if I called back that I would get ahold of "Mike" to apologize for my phone hanging up on him...
Oh well...
So there it is... fair is fair...
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Ding Dong, the Wicked Dell is Dead
or (in the spirit of Rocky and Bullwinkle)
I have entered the Den of the Dell and have emerged victorious … the Dell dragon has been vanquished.
or
I am bitch, hear me roar!
Monday –
So I get on the road for my hour long commute and do something I never do… dial up my cell phone. I call the Dell …20 minutes later, after the phone-tree-from-hell and some horrid on-hold music, I speak to their first line of defense.
After telling my sad tale of woe (and angry frustration) she informs me that she can not authorize a return after the return limit, which is “As you know.. 21-days.” “Thank you, have a nice day. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
I ask to speak to her supervisor… “Certainly… please hold the line and I will connect you to my manager… his name is ‘Mike’ … after 3 more minutes on hold, I hear “The extension 000000 is not a valid extension….<>”
Several deep breaths later, another trip through the phone-tree-from-hell and another 20-minute wait, I get BACK to the first line of defense, this time named ‘Judy’. “Hello Judy… after 20-minutes on hold, telling my whole story, supposedly getting transferred to a supervisor named ‘Mike’ but instead getting cut off, I AGAIN waited 20-minutes to get back to you. Please see that I am transferred to a ‘Mike’ the manager and please make certain I do not get cut off this time” … “I do not know of this ‘Mike’ but I will certainly transfer you to my supervisor… please hold the line…”
5-minutes later, I get ‘Samantha’. I have to give ‘Samantha’ credit for sitting quietly while I vented at her, before she informed me she could not help me… BUT she would request a ‘call-back’ from ‘corporate’… she <> that someone one would call within 24-hours. I asked for a direct number in case no one did, but she informed me I did not need it because someone would DEFINITELY call in 24-hours… unfortunately I could not insist because I had been on the phone so long that my battery ran out and I had reached the end of my 1-hour commute.
Fade to next day… more than 25-hours later…
SURPRISE!!!!!!! … (wait for it) …No call!!!!!!!!
So, back on the road (this time to a very interesting short course on pesticide effects on humans and wildlife), I figure I have another 1-hour commute so what the hell… so I plug in my phone to the charger and … say it will me: dial Dell, navigate the phone-tree-from-hell and wait, finally getting through AGAIN to the first line of defense… I then line it all out AGAIN, starting with “I am VERY angry and frustrated, quite frankly about ½ of a call away from calling the Attny. Generals Consumer Fraud Division. I was told I would get a call back from ‘corporate’ within 24-hours and as of now, more than 25-hours later, have not received that call-back. I want my issue dealt with.”
She asked what the problem is…
(if you already read the two 'grrrrrrr' posts, you might want to skip the next part...)
Me: “So glad you asked… #1) Prior to buying this computer, I spoke with your representative to determine if the system was sufficient to run the USB device we were ALSO buying THROUGH YOU. I was told it was. We ordered the computer (we will not even go into the issues with THAT)… when the computer was received, the USB ports would not work properly. Tech support insisted over and over that the problem was NOT the computer but the devices (even though SEVERAL other computers had no problem with the devices). For two weeks, I did EVERYTHING tech support said to do at a GREAT time expense to myself. 4-hour diagnostics, resetting the computer software to fac. Spec 3 times (resulting in having to do XP updates, Dell updates, device driver updates, application activation and registrations a total of 4 times!). If I had wanted to do a month of tech support, I would have built the damn thing myself!
Tec service continued to tell me right up to day 21 that it was not the computer, but what we were trying to DO with the computer. Then, days 22-24, trying to call tech services resulted in long waits, getting cut off, getting transferred to the wrong divisions and ultimately being told that the system was down, could I please call back in 3-4 hours (which would have been midnight my time). In the meanwhile, because the graphics package they sold with the computer, WHICH they said was sufficient was NOT sufficient, I buy at my expense a graphics card that can handle the device only to find out that THERE IS NOT A SLOT TO INSTALL IT IN…
Day 25, trying to call Customer service to get the piece of shit returned, resulted in finding out that Customer service is CLOSED on Sunday. So, back to live chat with tech support who tells me, BASED ON THE SAME INFORMATION THEY HAD BEFORE, that the Motherboard is bad and needs to be replaced. They will do that. “No… I want to return it” “Sorry mam but it has been more than 21 days… all we can do is repair it.” “Will that fix the problem with needing to install the graphics card?” “Yes mam” “How? You are going to upgrade the mother board?” “No mam… it will be the same motherboard” “So how is that going to help the problem that I can not upgrade the graphics card?” “You have to get a PCI graphics card” … “How do I return this unit?” (even I know that PCI graphics cards suck)… “You will have to contact customer service when they are open” (that would be Day 26).
Back to today:
I end my recitation with “This does not even BEGIN to address my extreme embarrassment from, after spending a year convincing this senior citizen that he should get a computer, this fiasco happens when I am the one who suggest a Dell so that he would have a problem free experience. Instead, he now wants NOTHING to do with computer technology and feels that you have stolen his $800 and I can not blame him. I am sure that the Attny. General’s Consumer Fraud Division will be VERY interested to hear that Dell is taking advantage of a 70-year old man.”
At this point, the representative (remember: this is a person from the 1st line of defense which position yesterday was not able to authorize a return after 21-days) asks me to “Please hold the line” while she gets a return authorization number for me…
Two questions:
Am I being paranoid feeling that:
1) They intentionally jerked me around for two weeks, KNOWING there was a problem with the system, until the time to return was past?
2) Customer Service has a planned routine:
a. Make the customer go through the phone-tree-from-hell and 20-minute ‘hold’ hoping some people will decide it is not worth it at that point.
b. If the person DOES get through, tell them you can not help… Some people will accept your authority and go away.
c. If the person insists, pretend to send them to manager and cut them off… some people will be daunted by knowing they would have to do Step 1 again, and decide it is not worth it.
d. Of they DO call back, transfer to a ‘manager’ who says “I can not help, but I will (pretend) to put in a request for corporate to call you back.. I ASSURE you/guarantee they will call in 24-hours”… once again, some people will say screw it and just accept the repair when there is no call in 24-hours.
e. If the person DOES call back the next day, give in.
Really… am I paranoid?
Sunday, February 05, 2006
grrrrrrrr Part Deux
Ok.. may I just say... FUCK DELL ... and THANK YOU ANDY ...
Having gotten that out and up front, I will now vent...mostly because I can not get ahold of customer no-support until tomorrow and I am pissed off NOW...
Basic back story (for details see "grrrrrrrrrr" post earlier):
Spent over a year convincing a senior citizen that technology is not evil and bad and that he should get a good computer. I finally hooked him in with the concept of being able to take VHS and make DVD's out of them.... he is facinated by this...
So I suggest a Dell because I figure that is the easiest way for him to go... plug in, works right out of the box... no prob. So I research and find a good one for him... I check with Dell to be sure that this system can handle the Dazzle vid. capture device we are ALSO buying through Dell. No problem... so we buy the thing.
It gets there, we get it set-up, get all the registrations, activations, updates, etc. done only to find that the USB ports do not consistently recognize the USB devices... long story, but I tried EVERYTHING to get this thing to work...
To make matters worse, when the computer DOES deign to recognize the device as a dazzle, the audio protion of the capture works, but the audio gives just a green screen.
So I get in contact with Dell who tells me to do an extended diagnostic and if nothing is wrong to restore the soft ware to factory spec...
Done... have to do ALL of the registering, activations, updates, etc. again, but ok... taken care of ... EXACTALLY the same problems... Andy tries to help and manages to (bairly) keep me from setting fire to it... but alas, no joy...
All of the sudden the USB ports seem to be working ok, so I figure I accidentally did something that fixed the problem... ok..on to the vid part... we buy a new vid card (and a wireless internet card so I do not have to sit on my neighbors floor anymore) and go to install. THERE IS NO SLOT FOR THE CARD!!!!!!!!! Apparently you can only use PCI cards ... and even I know that PCI graphic cards are not a great idea...
And by the way? Now ALL USB ports are wonky... at least the keyboard worked before but NOT ANY MORE.
So.. new plan... return this peice of shit and build one...
So I go to try to figure out how to return it... apparently you have to call Customer No-Service but they are not in today... and apparently I only had 21 days to return the thing (today is day 24) ... so by attempting to work with them to get this thing working right, I missed the easy send back window...
So I get on-line with customer support and explain I want to send it back... they want detail AGAIN as to what the problem is... I sent them the transcripts from PAST chats with them and they come back that it is a motherboard problem and they will replace it. And tell me this will take care of ALL problems, vid included...
I clarify that and they say I have to get a PCI graphics card... My answer: Tell me how to send this thing back.
Apperently I have to call customer service for that... :::bashes head on counter:::
Fuck Dell... and I hope they do internet searches for the phrase "FUCK DELL" so that someone there reads this....
Not only have I been terribly embarressed by this whole thing, since I am the one who told him to get a Dell, but I am sure any tenuous relationship to technology he might have developed from a GOOD experience is now dashed...
So... just to sum up...
FUCK DELL .... and THANK YOU ANDY...
Friday, February 03, 2006
Why is it... Current mood: crappy
I wish someone could come up with a good reason that everytime I get into a 'happy' place in my life, someone or something decides they need to shit in my litter box...
I will just keep reminding myself that I am content and that nothing external can change that if I do not want it to...
I have to say, though that I am MUCH better at saying "No" and the occasional "Fuck off" (<--- that really does sound better in english) than I used to be... too bad that I have not yet mastered the art of not feeling guilty for doing it....
Random thought for today...
If they had used instant oatmeal on the shuttle, that tile would NEVER have come off....
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Ahhhhh... conspicuous consumerism.... **drool**
I have met my hypocrisy and its name is shopping...
I have always thought of myself as a logical person... I plan things - this means if I need something, I figure out how to afford and obtain it. If I WANT something, I think about it for a LONG time, weighing the wants against the needs... usually, I end up not getting things, not because I do not want them, but because I am a cheapskate who has a very hard time parting with money and when it comes time to purchase things, I 'just say no" sometimes to a fault...
I sometimes laugh a little at people who buy just to have... not people who spend money and buy nice things... that is not the same thing... but people who buy JUST to own...
Until today... after today, I will never laugh again, for I have seen the pleasure in consumerism...
I have to admit to a bit of shame over it... I should not be feeling this pleasure from buying things... I can see where it could become addictive... the power, the pleasure in walking into a store and saying ... "I will buy this and this and this.... " about things I do not technically NEED, but that I want... to not worry over the price.. to not say "that is the one I want, but this one is cheaper, more logical and by all means the more practical choice...'... to not say I would really like 6 towels, but do I REALLY need them, when I could make do with 4?
Could I have used that money for other things? Hell yes... but for once, instead of being 100esponsible, I choose to be 5/6ths responsible and 1/6 irresponsible... and you know what?
It really feels good... it REALLY feels good.
So now I have 6 towels that actually match! And a kitchen runner... and a new bathmat, that I really did not NEED but it sure looks great...
And my major indulgence? (shhhhhh... do not tell anyone, but I actually own a new tv... and it is AWESOME)
Now I just need to figure out how to NOT want to indulge like this all the time... it is going to be hard to go back to being a penny pinching...
Oh yeah... and the septic system is fixed! WHOOT!!!!!!!
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Scales
So... while enjoying watching the clan shop for a new coffee maker, my magpie-eye catches sight of a really nifty scale.I have been thinking about that scale for several days, so apparently, I need to buy it. I went on Fry's and can not find it listed under the brand I THOUGHT it was so I go web browsing to see what I can find... I found a talking scale ... it talks ... I would step-up onto it and it would VERBALLY tell me I am fat. Who in the world (excluding blind people of course) needs THAT in their lives? There is just something so very wrong about that concept.The only up side is that you would avoid that early morning "Ok... I am standing naked on this scale... I will flip the light on quickly to see what it reads.. I really do not want to do this... *stall stall* ... ok.. freezing now... " issue. But the alternative? I would be starting every day hearing "Yes... you are fat... now please get off me... you are squishing my contacts."*sigh*
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Cold outside, warm inside...
One of the best things about winter weather is being outside in the cold just long enough to really appreciate the warm when you come in...
It occurs to me that this is really no different in our hearts... the chill of being alone makes the warm of friends so much more enjoyable...
Cold outside and warm in...
Really... does it get much better than this?
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Do I HAVE too?!?!?
Ok... fair is fair...
I bitched about all the frustration, so now it is only fair that when they let something that was MY fault slide, I mention it too... I am doing this, not because I think anyone wants to hear more about my dellhell, but because... well... fair is fair...
Several days after I packed up the Dell and got it sent on its way, I noticed that the power strip I had pulled from the TV set-up to use for the computer, was still running from the wall, across the floor and into the middle of the room... this is a great example that if I step over something enough, my mind no longer sees that it is present.... which basically explains how my house can get as messy as it (often) does...but that is off the subject...
So my eyes naturally FOLLOW said power strip to the centre of the room... NOT to behind the couch, or under the table or into another room.... no... to the CENTRE of the room! And low and behold! What do I see!?!?
The POWER CORD FOR THE DELL... plugged in.... with the other end going ... yeap... nowhere!
After scrambling my brain looking for a way to get mad at Dell for this, I come to the conclusion that this one is all on me... of course it is the weekend so I can not do anything about it and in my illness yesterday, I forgot...
So today driving home I called Dell ... the phone tree from hell lead my directly to a live person! No hold! (Yes kiddies... I think you all better start preparing for the Apocalypse) where a very nice young man ("Mike") spent 20 minutes looking up things on the computer to tell me that there is no need for me to send it back, the issue has been dealt with...
I do feel really bad because right after I said "Wow.. thank you very much" and he started to say something, my cell phone dropped the call... why my phone insists on dropping calls to Dell every time I am being nice, I do not know...
That is one of the most irritating things about their phone system... I knew that there was no way if I called back that I would get ahold of "Mike" to apologize for my phone hanging up on him...
Oh well...
So there it is... fair is fair...
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Ding Dong, the Wicked Dell is Dead
or (in the spirit of Rocky and Bullwinkle)
I have entered the Den of the Dell and have emerged victorious … the Dell dragon has been vanquished.
or
I am bitch, hear me roar!
Monday –
So I get on the road for my hour long commute and do something I never do… dial up my cell phone. I call the Dell …20 minutes later, after the phone-tree-from-hell and some horrid on-hold music, I speak to their first line of defense.
After telling my sad tale of woe (and angry frustration) she informs me that she can not authorize a return after the return limit, which is “As you know.. 21-days.” “Thank you, have a nice day. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
I ask to speak to her supervisor… “Certainly… please hold the line and I will connect you to my manager… his name is ‘Mike’ … after 3 more minutes on hold, I hear “The extension 000000 is not a valid extension….<>”
Several deep breaths later, another trip through the phone-tree-from-hell and another 20-minute wait, I get BACK to the first line of defense, this time named ‘Judy’. “Hello Judy… after 20-minutes on hold, telling my whole story, supposedly getting transferred to a supervisor named ‘Mike’ but instead getting cut off, I AGAIN waited 20-minutes to get back to you. Please see that I am transferred to a ‘Mike’ the manager and please make certain I do not get cut off this time” … “I do not know of this ‘Mike’ but I will certainly transfer you to my supervisor… please hold the line…”
5-minutes later, I get ‘Samantha’. I have to give ‘Samantha’ credit for sitting quietly while I vented at her, before she informed me she could not help me… BUT she would request a ‘call-back’ from ‘corporate’… she <> that someone one would call within 24-hours. I asked for a direct number in case no one did, but she informed me I did not need it because someone would DEFINITELY call in 24-hours… unfortunately I could not insist because I had been on the phone so long that my battery ran out and I had reached the end of my 1-hour commute.
Fade to next day… more than 25-hours later…
SURPRISE!!!!!!! … (wait for it) …No call!!!!!!!!
So, back on the road (this time to a very interesting short course on pesticide effects on humans and wildlife), I figure I have another 1-hour commute so what the hell… so I plug in my phone to the charger and … say it will me: dial Dell, navigate the phone-tree-from-hell and wait, finally getting through AGAIN to the first line of defense… I then line it all out AGAIN, starting with “I am VERY angry and frustrated, quite frankly about ½ of a call away from calling the Attny. Generals Consumer Fraud Division. I was told I would get a call back from ‘corporate’ within 24-hours and as of now, more than 25-hours later, have not received that call-back. I want my issue dealt with.”
She asked what the problem is…
(if you already read the two 'grrrrrrr' posts, you might want to skip the next part...)
Me: “So glad you asked… #1) Prior to buying this computer, I spoke with your representative to determine if the system was sufficient to run the USB device we were ALSO buying THROUGH YOU. I was told it was. We ordered the computer (we will not even go into the issues with THAT)… when the computer was received, the USB ports would not work properly. Tech support insisted over and over that the problem was NOT the computer but the devices (even though SEVERAL other computers had no problem with the devices). For two weeks, I did EVERYTHING tech support said to do at a GREAT time expense to myself. 4-hour diagnostics, resetting the computer software to fac. Spec 3 times (resulting in having to do XP updates, Dell updates, device driver updates, application activation and registrations a total of 4 times!). If I had wanted to do a month of tech support, I would have built the damn thing myself!
Tec service continued to tell me right up to day 21 that it was not the computer, but what we were trying to DO with the computer. Then, days 22-24, trying to call tech services resulted in long waits, getting cut off, getting transferred to the wrong divisions and ultimately being told that the system was down, could I please call back in 3-4 hours (which would have been midnight my time). In the meanwhile, because the graphics package they sold with the computer, WHICH they said was sufficient was NOT sufficient, I buy at my expense a graphics card that can handle the device only to find out that THERE IS NOT A SLOT TO INSTALL IT IN…
Day 25, trying to call Customer service to get the piece of shit returned, resulted in finding out that Customer service is CLOSED on Sunday. So, back to live chat with tech support who tells me, BASED ON THE SAME INFORMATION THEY HAD BEFORE, that the Motherboard is bad and needs to be replaced. They will do that. “No… I want to return it” “Sorry mam but it has been more than 21 days… all we can do is repair it.” “Will that fix the problem with needing to install the graphics card?” “Yes mam” “How? You are going to upgrade the mother board?” “No mam… it will be the same motherboard” “So how is that going to help the problem that I can not upgrade the graphics card?” “You have to get a PCI graphics card” … “How do I return this unit?” (even I know that PCI graphics cards suck)… “You will have to contact customer service when they are open” (that would be Day 26).
Back to today:
I end my recitation with “This does not even BEGIN to address my extreme embarrassment from, after spending a year convincing this senior citizen that he should get a computer, this fiasco happens when I am the one who suggest a Dell so that he would have a problem free experience. Instead, he now wants NOTHING to do with computer technology and feels that you have stolen his $800 and I can not blame him. I am sure that the Attny. General’s Consumer Fraud Division will be VERY interested to hear that Dell is taking advantage of a 70-year old man.”
At this point, the representative (remember: this is a person from the 1st line of defense which position yesterday was not able to authorize a return after 21-days) asks me to “Please hold the line” while she gets a return authorization number for me…
Two questions:
Am I being paranoid feeling that:
1) They intentionally jerked me around for two weeks, KNOWING there was a problem with the system, until the time to return was past?
2) Customer Service has a planned routine:
a. Make the customer go through the phone-tree-from-hell and 20-minute ‘hold’ hoping some people will decide it is not worth it at that point.
b. If the person DOES get through, tell them you can not help… Some people will accept your authority and go away.
c. If the person insists, pretend to send them to manager and cut them off… some people will be daunted by knowing they would have to do Step 1 again, and decide it is not worth it.
d. Of they DO call back, transfer to a ‘manager’ who says “I can not help, but I will (pretend) to put in a request for corporate to call you back.. I ASSURE you/guarantee they will call in 24-hours”… once again, some people will say screw it and just accept the repair when there is no call in 24-hours.
e. If the person DOES call back the next day, give in.
Really… am I paranoid?
Sunday, February 05, 2006
grrrrrrrr Part Deux
Ok.. may I just say... FUCK DELL ... and THANK YOU ANDY ...
Having gotten that out and up front, I will now vent...mostly because I can not get ahold of customer no-support until tomorrow and I am pissed off NOW...
Basic back story (for details see "grrrrrrrrrr" post earlier):
Spent over a year convincing a senior citizen that technology is not evil and bad and that he should get a good computer. I finally hooked him in with the concept of being able to take VHS and make DVD's out of them.... he is facinated by this...
So I suggest a Dell because I figure that is the easiest way for him to go... plug in, works right out of the box... no prob. So I research and find a good one for him... I check with Dell to be sure that this system can handle the Dazzle vid. capture device we are ALSO buying through Dell. No problem... so we buy the thing.
It gets there, we get it set-up, get all the registrations, activations, updates, etc. done only to find that the USB ports do not consistently recognize the USB devices... long story, but I tried EVERYTHING to get this thing to work...
To make matters worse, when the computer DOES deign to recognize the device as a dazzle, the audio protion of the capture works, but the audio gives just a green screen.
So I get in contact with Dell who tells me to do an extended diagnostic and if nothing is wrong to restore the soft ware to factory spec...
Done... have to do ALL of the registering, activations, updates, etc. again, but ok... taken care of ... EXACTALLY the same problems... Andy tries to help and manages to (bairly) keep me from setting fire to it... but alas, no joy...
All of the sudden the USB ports seem to be working ok, so I figure I accidentally did something that fixed the problem... ok..on to the vid part... we buy a new vid card (and a wireless internet card so I do not have to sit on my neighbors floor anymore) and go to install. THERE IS NO SLOT FOR THE CARD!!!!!!!!! Apparently you can only use PCI cards ... and even I know that PCI graphic cards are not a great idea...
And by the way? Now ALL USB ports are wonky... at least the keyboard worked before but NOT ANY MORE.
So.. new plan... return this peice of shit and build one...
So I go to try to figure out how to return it... apparently you have to call Customer No-Service but they are not in today... and apparently I only had 21 days to return the thing (today is day 24) ... so by attempting to work with them to get this thing working right, I missed the easy send back window...
So I get on-line with customer support and explain I want to send it back... they want detail AGAIN as to what the problem is... I sent them the transcripts from PAST chats with them and they come back that it is a motherboard problem and they will replace it. And tell me this will take care of ALL problems, vid included...
I clarify that and they say I have to get a PCI graphics card... My answer: Tell me how to send this thing back.
Apperently I have to call customer service for that... :::bashes head on counter:::
Fuck Dell... and I hope they do internet searches for the phrase "FUCK DELL" so that someone there reads this....
Not only have I been terribly embarressed by this whole thing, since I am the one who told him to get a Dell, but I am sure any tenuous relationship to technology he might have developed from a GOOD experience is now dashed...
So... just to sum up...
FUCK DELL .... and THANK YOU ANDY...
Friday, February 03, 2006
Why is it... Current mood: crappy
I wish someone could come up with a good reason that everytime I get into a 'happy' place in my life, someone or something decides they need to shit in my litter box...
I will just keep reminding myself that I am content and that nothing external can change that if I do not want it to...
I have to say, though that I am MUCH better at saying "No" and the occasional "Fuck off" (<--- that really does sound better in english) than I used to be... too bad that I have not yet mastered the art of not feeling guilty for doing it....
You know how sometimes you can not tell people how you feel?
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Wow… this has been an interesting day.,, When I woke up this morning, I expected a four hour drive (is that the same as a three-hour tour?), a wonderful evening with some people that I really think I have come to love (now if I could stop being so completely bewildered by the fact that they seem to like ME), capping it off with an evening at a hotel…
What I got was a 4-hour drive where I was treated to a view of a respected co-worker that I had not yet been privileged to see… someone that I have liked and respected for the past 18 months, but who I now see with different eyes. Someone who has more depth then I was aware of before… someone who is more a person to me now…
I also got an interesting evening with people I think I love, that made me do some self-exploration, as well as giving me an opportunity to spend time with someone that I liked the first time I met her, but who I did not get to spend a lot of time getting to know…
As always, this fascinating group of people made me feel warm and welcome… they also made me feel proud to introduce them as my friends, when they took my coworker and made HIM feel welcome in their home.
I also got to face some things I had thought completely put away. A very nice person is going through a very bad time, which feels VERY familiar to me… 18-months familiar… things I thought I had dealt with and put away, were brought up to the front and I realized that some issues have NOT been dealt with… some things still hurt… some things that I understand intellectually but which apparently are still unresolved emotionally. It is good to know this because I need to get to work on these… I think sometimes, we work out a knot and put it away, thinking the whole tangle has been dealt with, when in reality, only one bit is fixed… this might be a self-protection mechanism to let us deal with things a bite at a time and apparently it is time for me to take another bite out of mine…
I also got to spend some time talking with someone who asked a relatively innocent question that knocked me on the floor with realizations that I had not faced before… I do not think he even knows what he did … lol…
For the past 6 months, I have been trying to figure out what is going on with me. I have not been acting like myself… I have been feeling things that I do not recognize and it is all centered around this group of people. I feel… different… when I am with them and I have not been able to puzzle out exactly what or why that is.
I have to admit, this has caused me to be a little uncomfortable for the basic reason that I overanalyze things and I know that one sign of mental deterioration is a radical change in personality. What I realized is that this odd feeling I have is being HAPPY… what exactly does it say about me when for 6 months I have interpreted being HAPPY as a mental defect?
I was literally floored… I was sitting having a conversation and all of the sudden I was having a panic attack… I was sitting on the couch and had to put my head on my knees…
In answering a question which I can not even remember specifically now, I was flooded with the realization of what these people have come to mean to me. I had not realized how tired I was of 20 year old habits… things which had a meaning at one time, but over time have lost their meaning and are simply that… meaningless habits.
I had not realized how much of a harbor this group of people had become of me… people who do not expect anything of me other than what I am… again… what does it say about me that it has taken me 6 months to understand this and when I do, it is with complete and utter bewildered suprise?
I love that these people are so warm and accepting… I love that these people seem to like who I am (again… bewildering… but nice)… I love that they trust me to talk to me about things that are really not my business and make me feel like I am doing them a favor when I butt my nose in… I love who I am when I am around these people… I like who I am becoming. My epiphany? This is one of the best things I have ever had come into my life…
It is also one of the scariest…
Wow… this has been an interesting day.,, When I woke up this morning, I expected a four hour drive (is that the same as a three-hour tour?), a wonderful evening with some people that I really think I have come to love (now if I could stop being so completely bewildered by the fact that they seem to like ME), capping it off with an evening at a hotel…
What I got was a 4-hour drive where I was treated to a view of a respected co-worker that I had not yet been privileged to see… someone that I have liked and respected for the past 18 months, but who I now see with different eyes. Someone who has more depth then I was aware of before… someone who is more a person to me now…
I also got an interesting evening with people I think I love, that made me do some self-exploration, as well as giving me an opportunity to spend time with someone that I liked the first time I met her, but who I did not get to spend a lot of time getting to know…
As always, this fascinating group of people made me feel warm and welcome… they also made me feel proud to introduce them as my friends, when they took my coworker and made HIM feel welcome in their home.
I also got to face some things I had thought completely put away. A very nice person is going through a very bad time, which feels VERY familiar to me… 18-months familiar… things I thought I had dealt with and put away, were brought up to the front and I realized that some issues have NOT been dealt with… some things still hurt… some things that I understand intellectually but which apparently are still unresolved emotionally. It is good to know this because I need to get to work on these… I think sometimes, we work out a knot and put it away, thinking the whole tangle has been dealt with, when in reality, only one bit is fixed… this might be a self-protection mechanism to let us deal with things a bite at a time and apparently it is time for me to take another bite out of mine…
I also got to spend some time talking with someone who asked a relatively innocent question that knocked me on the floor with realizations that I had not faced before… I do not think he even knows what he did … lol…
For the past 6 months, I have been trying to figure out what is going on with me. I have not been acting like myself… I have been feeling things that I do not recognize and it is all centered around this group of people. I feel… different… when I am with them and I have not been able to puzzle out exactly what or why that is.
I have to admit, this has caused me to be a little uncomfortable for the basic reason that I overanalyze things and I know that one sign of mental deterioration is a radical change in personality. What I realized is that this odd feeling I have is being HAPPY… what exactly does it say about me when for 6 months I have interpreted being HAPPY as a mental defect?
I was literally floored… I was sitting having a conversation and all of the sudden I was having a panic attack… I was sitting on the couch and had to put my head on my knees…
In answering a question which I can not even remember specifically now, I was flooded with the realization of what these people have come to mean to me. I had not realized how tired I was of 20 year old habits… things which had a meaning at one time, but over time have lost their meaning and are simply that… meaningless habits.
I had not realized how much of a harbor this group of people had become of me… people who do not expect anything of me other than what I am… again… what does it say about me that it has taken me 6 months to understand this and when I do, it is with complete and utter bewildered suprise?
I love that these people are so warm and accepting… I love that these people seem to like who I am (again… bewildering… but nice)… I love that they trust me to talk to me about things that are really not my business and make me feel like I am doing them a favor when I butt my nose in… I love who I am when I am around these people… I like who I am becoming. My epiphany? This is one of the best things I have ever had come into my life…
It is also one of the scariest…
Painting the Kitchen Wall
When I went to bed Friday, there was one thing I wanted to accomplish over this weekend. I wanted to get the kitchen wall painted.
So, I got up on Saturday and Sierra and I headed out to Home Depot… in order to paint the wall, apparently I needed to have paint…
I went to home depot for a 10$ can of paint… 200$ later, I left with a 10$ can of paint, 20 T-bar fence posts to finish the sacrifice section of the pasture, a fan for the kitchen and a bag of miscellaneous (but VERY important) items.
Ok… I am ready to paint the wall… as soon as I clear out the kitchen. That is ok… it is not really a waste of time since all that stuff needs to be moved out anyway. So, ok… lets clean out the kitchen.
Only one problem… most of the stuff in the kitchen is there because there was no room for it in the utility room… ok… not really a problem… I will just clean out the utility room… as soon as I clean out the garage so I have a place to put all the cra… I mean… stuff from the utility room…
*Cleaning the garage* JESUS GOD … where did all THIS stuff come from!?!?!? Ok… burn pile… no problem… small delay…
Ok… so… the garage is sort of cleaned up… at least I can get to where I need to get… trash is burned, recycling ready to go… the utility room is cleaned out, with the carpet pieces drying in the sun… small delay while Sierras parents come to visit… now I can clean the kitchen out… as soon as I go to the grocery to get the stuff (and make) salsa and enchiladas for tomorrows birthday dinner we are doing for someone.
Ok… bedtime… I will deal with it all tomorrow…
Sunday morning dawns WAY too early… but as I lay there trying to talk myself into getting up, I find myself staring up at the light fixture… the newish one that has been dangling for several months, waiting for me to complete the installation… I have all the things I need… why have I not done it? All of the sudden, finishing that seem muy importante… so I get up and fix that… ok… all set to paint the wall … after I get the rest of dinner ready to go…
Ok… dinner set and sent… kitchen table pulled out, first paint on the wall… now I just have to wait for it to dry… I will go ahead and cut the first of the frames while I am waiting… measure twice cut once… ok.. in reality it is measure once, go out to mark and cut, get distracted by something and forget the measurement.
The 'something' this time is the planks that are leaning on the saw I need to use… they are for making the window frames/sills for the new windows in the big house… why do I keep moving those boards around? I will just make the frames…
Frames are done… and the wall is dry! Next coat… hummm… maybe I will go ahead and install the kitchen fan… hint to all that will install a fan… dropping the fan motor on the floor while standing on a chair is NOT conducive to easy fan installations. Fan works!! WHOOT!!
Dinner was great, by the way… green enchiladas, soft tacos, tostados, fresh salsa and chips with homemade cream-puffs for dessert… mmmmmmmmm…
By the time I get home and feed the angimals, the wall is dry enough for the first coat of touch up the white … then the second…
So … 48 hours later, my one goal for the weekend is completed… when someone at work tomorrow asks me what I did this weekend, I will say:
"I painted the kitchen wall…"
So, I got up on Saturday and Sierra and I headed out to Home Depot… in order to paint the wall, apparently I needed to have paint…
I went to home depot for a 10$ can of paint… 200$ later, I left with a 10$ can of paint, 20 T-bar fence posts to finish the sacrifice section of the pasture, a fan for the kitchen and a bag of miscellaneous (but VERY important) items.
Ok… I am ready to paint the wall… as soon as I clear out the kitchen. That is ok… it is not really a waste of time since all that stuff needs to be moved out anyway. So, ok… lets clean out the kitchen.
Only one problem… most of the stuff in the kitchen is there because there was no room for it in the utility room… ok… not really a problem… I will just clean out the utility room… as soon as I clean out the garage so I have a place to put all the cra… I mean… stuff from the utility room…
*Cleaning the garage* JESUS GOD … where did all THIS stuff come from!?!?!? Ok… burn pile… no problem… small delay…
Ok… so… the garage is sort of cleaned up… at least I can get to where I need to get… trash is burned, recycling ready to go… the utility room is cleaned out, with the carpet pieces drying in the sun… small delay while Sierras parents come to visit… now I can clean the kitchen out… as soon as I go to the grocery to get the stuff (and make) salsa and enchiladas for tomorrows birthday dinner we are doing for someone.
Ok… bedtime… I will deal with it all tomorrow…
Sunday morning dawns WAY too early… but as I lay there trying to talk myself into getting up, I find myself staring up at the light fixture… the newish one that has been dangling for several months, waiting for me to complete the installation… I have all the things I need… why have I not done it? All of the sudden, finishing that seem muy importante… so I get up and fix that… ok… all set to paint the wall … after I get the rest of dinner ready to go…
Ok… dinner set and sent… kitchen table pulled out, first paint on the wall… now I just have to wait for it to dry… I will go ahead and cut the first of the frames while I am waiting… measure twice cut once… ok.. in reality it is measure once, go out to mark and cut, get distracted by something and forget the measurement.
The 'something' this time is the planks that are leaning on the saw I need to use… they are for making the window frames/sills for the new windows in the big house… why do I keep moving those boards around? I will just make the frames…
Frames are done… and the wall is dry! Next coat… hummm… maybe I will go ahead and install the kitchen fan… hint to all that will install a fan… dropping the fan motor on the floor while standing on a chair is NOT conducive to easy fan installations. Fan works!! WHOOT!!
Dinner was great, by the way… green enchiladas, soft tacos, tostados, fresh salsa and chips with homemade cream-puffs for dessert… mmmmmmmmm…
By the time I get home and feed the angimals, the wall is dry enough for the first coat of touch up the white … then the second…
So … 48 hours later, my one goal for the weekend is completed… when someone at work tomorrow asks me what I did this weekend, I will say:
"I painted the kitchen wall…"
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Wow! Fishies!
There is an entire world out there that I did not know existed! If any of you ever gets a chance to go to the Willamette Hatchery, GOOOOOO!!! It is a wonderful (might I say, magical?) sort of place.
First there is the technical... a few details:
They go to a damn and bring the female and male salmon up to the spawning ponds... they bring about one third more females than males which end with them having about the same amount of each.
When it is time (this part is sad) they kill the fish and take the eggs and sperm. They mix these... each female will give around 4000 eggs... they then raise these eggs until hatching..
Coolest thing #1 - they have a machine that takes each of the eggs, shines a light through it and determines if it is viable or not.... a puff of air discardes it, if not...
Cool Detail: Each fish, when it hatches, is still attached to its egg sack... it carries the egg sack under its belly (which is still open to the inside of the egg sack) and lives off the yolk from that.. for almost a month! When the egg sack has been reabsorbed, if everything works right, the slit then closes and you have a 'weaned' fish.
So... they then raise these fish and release them to live out the normal life cycle...
Coolest thing #2) There were several ponds of fish, all the same age, that range in size from a few inches to a foot or so... they effect the size of the fish in a calculated way by adjusting the amount of feed! There are computer programmes that tell them how much to feed the fish and on what schedual so they reach a desired size at a desired time! Woh!
Ok... most disturbing thing I learned... they actually put a dye in the fish food that makes the meat of the hatchery fish pink because the fishermen like it better... that is just wrong...
So... basically, I had a BLAST!!!!!!!! (do not tell my boss, please... :)
First there is the technical... a few details:
They go to a damn and bring the female and male salmon up to the spawning ponds... they bring about one third more females than males which end with them having about the same amount of each.
When it is time (this part is sad) they kill the fish and take the eggs and sperm. They mix these... each female will give around 4000 eggs... they then raise these eggs until hatching..
Coolest thing #1 - they have a machine that takes each of the eggs, shines a light through it and determines if it is viable or not.... a puff of air discardes it, if not...
Cool Detail: Each fish, when it hatches, is still attached to its egg sack... it carries the egg sack under its belly (which is still open to the inside of the egg sack) and lives off the yolk from that.. for almost a month! When the egg sack has been reabsorbed, if everything works right, the slit then closes and you have a 'weaned' fish.
So... they then raise these fish and release them to live out the normal life cycle...
Coolest thing #2) There were several ponds of fish, all the same age, that range in size from a few inches to a foot or so... they effect the size of the fish in a calculated way by adjusting the amount of feed! There are computer programmes that tell them how much to feed the fish and on what schedual so they reach a desired size at a desired time! Woh!
Ok... most disturbing thing I learned... they actually put a dye in the fish food that makes the meat of the hatchery fish pink because the fishermen like it better... that is just wrong...
So... basically, I had a BLAST!!!!!!!! (do not tell my boss, please... :)
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