Whining.. more entitlement?

What an interesting world we live in when someone needs to actually point out that whiners and the "I will rise above all this negativity (that I bring upon myself)"-ers need to seriously get a life.

I used to care what others opinion of me was... and then I reached a point where I realized how exhausting it was trying to make myself something that was not offensive to anyone. Exhausting and futile. By being what one person wants, you most likely are offending another... and in just the process of trying to be everything to everyone, you offend yourself.

I am pretty sporadic about this blogging thing. And I am probably a little more open about what I say since I know that I am probably the only one who will ever read this thing. A spate of entries over two days every year and a half does NOT a following make. But I really do not care. That is not why I do this.

Frankly, I blog (when I blog) because I am bored stiff at times. So, by extention, if I am blogging because I am bored, chances are that anything I have to say will be.. yeap... boring.

So I do not blog for others to read. I blog to amuse myself, to practice my english skills and to keep my typing fingers limbered up . But lets face it... I am not writing this down in a private place. I am not writing this by hand in the journal I keep in my underwear drawer... I am not typing this into a private WORD document. I am typing on an Internet blog... which, by definition, people have access to read. Dur...

So when someone starts talking about how boring I am, how I am typing words of tedium and minutia... my response will be:

"Yah, you are completely correct... which is why I pointed out that this is not intended for others to read... what part of 'typing practice' is not clear?"

But will it matter to me what they think? It might have years ago... but then again, years ago I might have been typing in this blog with the intent that others actually read it and be enthralled by every aspect of my life...

And maybe sometime in the future my life will again be so meaningless that I feel the need to type every moment of my life out so that others can validate me.

Maybe... but I am an optimist enough to hope that someone will have shot me by then and put me out of my misery.

Personal Responsibility

What are two words, often heard, that everyone gives lip service to, yet few actually follow?

Yeap.. Personal Responsibility.

I think if I had to pick ONE thing that royally frustrates and pisses me off, this would be the one.

"I hate my life"
"So change it... "
"I would, but... but... but... "
"Dude... you need to take personal responsibility for your life..."
"I do... It is just that everyone is against me, circumstances make everything (except whining) impossible... no one will give me what I need to get out and nothing is my fault."

A recent conversation:

"I beat my kids because my parents beat me... I know it is wrong but just can not seem to stop."
"So go to some parenting classes and learn how to break the cycle..."
"I can not afford it..."
"They are free..."
"I can not get a babysitter..."
"They have a sitting service during the classes..."
"There is too much to do at night... "
"So why do you beat your children?"
"Because my parents beat me... I know it is wrong but just can not seem to stop."

Or another favorite:

"I have a drug problem..."
"Do you want to stop using them?"
"Yes... it is fucking up my life... my husband is about to leave me, my kids hate me... I am a mess..."
"What can I do to help?"
"I have tried everything... "
"Have you tried counseling?"
"No... but that will not do any good... they will just tell me I have a problem."
"How do you know if you have not tried it?"
"I just know..."
"How about a treatment facility?"
"Then everyone will know I have a drug problem..."
"I hate to tell you, but everyone already knows..."
"Still... I do not want everyone to know... "
"How about AA?"
"They are just a bunch of whining druggies..."
"Honey... you are a druggie... and right now you are just doing a lot of whining... "
"If you do not want to help, just leave me alone... "
"Ok.. ok... so how can I help?"
"There is nothing you can do... I have a disease and there is no cure."

So I get really frustrated at peoples inability to take responsibility for themselves... but then I look around me and wonder how it can be any different...

In a way, the christians are correct when they say this is a christian nation. This is a nation of people who have been trained from an early age that there is no need for them to be responsible for themselves. Why should they be? If they do something good and right, it is 'god' who did that through them. If they do something 'bad' or 'wrong', they are simply living up to what they have been told is human nature. And why should they change, since it is only through a god that they can 'overcome' the nasty, dirty, evil morass that is human nature?

How do we expect our children to stand up and take responsibility for their behavior and actions, when we are so busy filing lawsuits against the school system for having the audacity to 'label' a child a troublemaker when they pull a knife on a teacher? When we encourage our children to be disrespectful of all authority figures in the name of 'individuality'?

There is a huge difference between teaching our kids that they are not required to respect someone unless that respect is earned and teaching them that it is ok to be disrespectful.

There is a huge difference between teaching our children that there are methods and means of standing up for what is right and just through the system, or, if that fails them, through civil disobedience, without letting that become nothing more than an excuse for them to turn into little assholes with no concept of how to be a member of a community for no other reason than they are lazy and 'do not want to".

But there again... why am I surprised? How can I complain about the kids having no concept of personal responsibility when most of their parents do not either... 2000 years of teaching people that they are worthless pieces of shit and that it is better to ask forgiveness of an invisible sky buddy than it is to just do the right thing to begin with... what do we expect?

How I got here...

Somewhere between 5 and 7 years ago, I started getting involved with atheists on the internet. It started with me going to a web tool called PalTalk. I have no idea how I ended up in the atheist rooms, but I met a few wonderful people, two of whom I now consider my best friends. Since I can think of maybe a handful of people I consider 'friend' (as opposed to 'fond aquaintance') you can imagine that the term 'best' is applied judiciously.

As the conversations swirled about madly, I discovered (among the theist-baiting) that there were some very basic concepts I had never really explored completely. I found concepts about myself challenged and I found myself forced into developing a cohesiveness of thought on subjects I had not even considered that I needed to consider.

I was asked... "What are you?"

"What do you MEAN what am I?"

How in the world can they be asking me to define myself when I am so many things? I am... well... I... hummmm... what AM I?

I discovered that I did not really know...

Oh... there were the obvious ones... so I thought I would start with those... I am an animal... I am a member of the human race.... I am of a gender... I am of a nation...

As I started listing these things, I realized that none of these labels were sufficient within themselves to label myself... so I started the search to see what label was...

Because of who I was socializing with, I guess it was natural that one of the things I started exploring was what my beliefs were regarding a god or gods...

I had never really thought about it much... is there a god? I had not seen any evidence of one, but a lot of people believed in one, so that made it real enough...

This is not to say that I have ever believed that a god exists... but I DID feel that a god CONCEPT existed and that really is the same thing... it does not matter if someones action is based on a belief in a god or not... it is still their action... and I will still hold them responsible for their actions, make my judgements based on what they do, etc, whether or not THEY hold THEMSELVES responsible for their actions or not.

But as time continued and I had more interaction with the theists and atheists of cyberspace, it became clear that life did not really work out like this.

As I was sorting through things, I went through various phases of 'belief'... at first, I was surprised to see that there was even a reason to have a discussion. How in the world can a belief in something for which there is no evidence of existence be of influence in peoples lives?

Until that point, while I knew that individual faith could be irrelevant or a driving force depending on the individual in question, I had never really thought about how it effected me or others. Probably because my lack of belief does not effect those around me, it never occurred to me that others might effect me.

But then I was exposed, through PalTalk and then the Atheist Network, to the most offensive and foul creature out there... the Fundy.

It does not matter what religion (or lack thereof) we are speaking of... all have their fundamentalists. But it seems that there is definitely a larger percentage of fundamentalist christians trolling the Internet looking for someone to force their beliefs on than any other group one could name. I have been utterly shocked at the absolute lack of integrity and manners exhibited by these 'people'.

People who come to a space labeled "Atheist Network", without invitation, of their own volition and then tell us how offensive it is to them that we are atheists. They came to the site (as if the title of the site was "Please come and convert us" to tell us that we, as atheists, are the worst sort of human on the planet. Lower than those of other (false) religions... lower than the worst murderer, the worst child molester. To tell us that we are not worth the air we breath and that we pollute the land we stand upon.

Yet... when asked why they were subjecting themselves to such evil, said "Because we love you... "

We are told that we have no morals... before they have even bothered to find out who we are, what our lives are about. Based on NOTHING MORE than the fact that we do not believe that their god exists, we lack all morals. When asked to tell me specifically what immoral behavior I engage in, I am usually told

"You do not believe in god"

The conversation usually continues along the lines of:

"But you said I am lacking in morals. So you are saying that the ONLY moral that exists is 'belief in god'?"

"No... there are other morals"

"So what are the 'other' morals that, as an atheist, I do not have?"

"I do not know specifically about you, but as an atheist, you are immoral."

"But HOW am I immoral?"

"You do not believe in god..."

"You already said that... "

"I will pray for you... "

After a while, I started wondering what I was missing out on due to my god belief. So I asked "The Question". It seemed to me that there must be some grand benefit to society in people believing in this entity, considering there is zero evidence for its existence. As of yet, no one has presented any credible evidence of existence and no one has provided me with a benefit to society that would make me belief even in the absence of evidence.

But I DO get prayed for an awfully lot.

So who am I? What am I? I went through my phases, but in the end, I am the same as I have always been... an animal of the human species who lives in a nation on this earth. I take my showers, brush my teeth... I wear clothes in order to be socially acceptable and I attempt to get my body into a state acceptable to me for my health and to my mate for his pleasure. I go to work, I raised my children. I swim, I read, I fish.

Oh yah... an I just happen to not have a belief in a god.

"The Question"

For many years, I have been asking "The Question" and, as yet, have only had one person answer it. I am putting it here on the off chance that someone might see it and give it a go.

What is it that a theist can do that is beneficial to society, that I, as an atheist, am unable to do.

So far, the only person who did not ignore the question said "Absolutely nothing. Faith is not about society, but about each persons individual soul."

This theist I can respect for their honesty and integrity in not simply blowing off the question.

Anyone else?