Personal Responsibility

What are two words, often heard, that everyone gives lip service to, yet few actually follow?

Yeap.. Personal Responsibility.

I think if I had to pick ONE thing that royally frustrates and pisses me off, this would be the one.

"I hate my life"
"So change it... "
"I would, but... but... but... "
"Dude... you need to take personal responsibility for your life..."
"I do... It is just that everyone is against me, circumstances make everything (except whining) impossible... no one will give me what I need to get out and nothing is my fault."

A recent conversation:

"I beat my kids because my parents beat me... I know it is wrong but just can not seem to stop."
"So go to some parenting classes and learn how to break the cycle..."
"I can not afford it..."
"They are free..."
"I can not get a babysitter..."
"They have a sitting service during the classes..."
"There is too much to do at night... "
"So why do you beat your children?"
"Because my parents beat me... I know it is wrong but just can not seem to stop."

Or another favorite:

"I have a drug problem..."
"Do you want to stop using them?"
"Yes... it is fucking up my life... my husband is about to leave me, my kids hate me... I am a mess..."
"What can I do to help?"
"I have tried everything... "
"Have you tried counseling?"
"No... but that will not do any good... they will just tell me I have a problem."
"How do you know if you have not tried it?"
"I just know..."
"How about a treatment facility?"
"Then everyone will know I have a drug problem..."
"I hate to tell you, but everyone already knows..."
"Still... I do not want everyone to know... "
"How about AA?"
"They are just a bunch of whining druggies..."
"Honey... you are a druggie... and right now you are just doing a lot of whining... "
"If you do not want to help, just leave me alone... "
"Ok.. ok... so how can I help?"
"There is nothing you can do... I have a disease and there is no cure."

So I get really frustrated at peoples inability to take responsibility for themselves... but then I look around me and wonder how it can be any different...

In a way, the christians are correct when they say this is a christian nation. This is a nation of people who have been trained from an early age that there is no need for them to be responsible for themselves. Why should they be? If they do something good and right, it is 'god' who did that through them. If they do something 'bad' or 'wrong', they are simply living up to what they have been told is human nature. And why should they change, since it is only through a god that they can 'overcome' the nasty, dirty, evil morass that is human nature?

How do we expect our children to stand up and take responsibility for their behavior and actions, when we are so busy filing lawsuits against the school system for having the audacity to 'label' a child a troublemaker when they pull a knife on a teacher? When we encourage our children to be disrespectful of all authority figures in the name of 'individuality'?

There is a huge difference between teaching our kids that they are not required to respect someone unless that respect is earned and teaching them that it is ok to be disrespectful.

There is a huge difference between teaching our children that there are methods and means of standing up for what is right and just through the system, or, if that fails them, through civil disobedience, without letting that become nothing more than an excuse for them to turn into little assholes with no concept of how to be a member of a community for no other reason than they are lazy and 'do not want to".

But there again... why am I surprised? How can I complain about the kids having no concept of personal responsibility when most of their parents do not either... 2000 years of teaching people that they are worthless pieces of shit and that it is better to ask forgiveness of an invisible sky buddy than it is to just do the right thing to begin with... what do we expect?