I have decided that you Physics geeks make things much more difficult than it has to be…
All that science and la-de-da equations? Waste of time.. .
You want proof that time is relative? Easy..
Have you ever noticed how when you are driving to someplace fun it takes longer than when you are driving someplace you do not want to go?
Along the same lines, a two hour party with cool people last about 1 hour, but a two hour duty-party with Aunt Thelma? DAYS!
Look at work … today is the longest week I have ever had…
Add in vacation… one week at work lasts a month, while a week with the clan in Seattle takes about 2 parsecs.
See? Time is relative…
(eat your heart out Einstein!)
Friday, October 13, 2006
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
A Parable in Progress
Once upon a time, a theist heard about a zoo that had started collecting an alien species called "Atheist". He asked his friend (who told him about this "Atheist" creature), "What is an atheist?"
His friend explained that an Atheist is a small furry creature, with 6 eyes, purple or green fur, 5 arms, 3 legs with no verbal skills. The friend told the theist, that the Atheist was estimated to have an intelligence level similar to that of a large rat with horns and that they eat their young. They also throw temper-tantrums and run in circles and throw poop.
This intrigued the theist who decided that he needed to see this for himself, so he made the journey to the Atheist Zoo, completely convinced that if he only told them the magic thing, then they would see the truth and it would magically turn them into REAL (TM) people.
When he got there, he made his way to the main exhibit. There were signs up all over the place, warning people not to antagonize the residents of the exhibit. He thought to himself "Why.. I am not intending to antagonize anyone... I simply intend to ENLIGHTEN them... once I tell them the MAGIC thing, they will be so grateful that they fall over themselves to thank me for saving them from themselves.. they will hail me as a great intellect and make me their leader!"
With that, feeling very virtuous, the theist entered the viewing room and looked around but did not see any 'atheists'. He walked up to a group of people who seemed to be in conversation and asked "Excuse me, but I do not see any atheists... are they on display today?".
The people in the group looked to him and said "Well.. we are atheists.."
"No no.. that can not be true", the theist exclaimed, "You are not small furry creature, with 6 eyes, purple or green fur, 5 arms, 3 legs... and you speak! You can not be atheists!"
One person from the group in discussion, leaned over and told the theist "Ummm.. we know you probably have been told a lot of things about atheist and most of them probably are not true... if you are interested in spending time with us and learning about what we REALLY are like, then we will be happy to talk to you."
Skeptical, the theist did not really believe this, because they all looked like everyone else he know, but decided to explore further to see what these peoples joke was. The theist looked around the viewing room. There was a large table where the so called "atheist' were sitting. There were several chairs, all taken, but there were several of them standing and leaning around the main group. As he watched, several of the atheist came and went in and out of the room and discussion group.
All around the room, there were chairs placed so that newcomers could come and join the conversation. He noticed several people that came into the room would grab an empty chair and pull up to the outskirts of the discussion group, sitting and listening awhile to see what was going on. After a while, they would move their chairs a little deeper into the group and introduce themselves. These people were offered a variety of things, from coffee, tea and muffins, to saws, jackets and divorce lawyers. Once the welcoming ritual had been completely, the theist noted that the newcomer would hesitantly start asking question and offering opinions. The more the newcomer got involved and became more comfortable, the more spirited the discussions got. Many allegiances seemed to shift and sort, but in the end, the fun was in the discussion.
After a short time, the theist decided that it was time to tell these people the Magic Thing. So he waded up to the group, pushing and shoving people out of his way and pushed a person at the centre of the group off the chair he wanted. He took that chair and rapped on the table to get everyone’s attention.
"I am now going to tell you the magic thing. I am sure you have never heard it since you do not think the way I do, but I am certain that you will drop to your knees to thank me when you hear the Magic Thing."
The theist then imparted the Magic Thing and sat back with a satisfied look waiting for the adulation to start. It took him a few seconds to realize that the noise he was hearing was not cheers to him, but some peoples gears. Others were trying to explain to him that this was not new... it had been heard and addressed many times before. The theist knew this could not be true, because if they had heard it before, they would know it was "TRUTH" and they would believe the way he did."
Several of the discussion group tried to explain that his statement, the Magic Thing, was not true and the reasons why. They told him, if you are going to say this is true, then we need something to go on other than "because I say it.." They listed with clarity and logic why his statement was patently not supported and asked him to back up his statement with support for his opinion.
The theist was taken aback... what these atheists were saying was inconceivable. How could they not see the truth? Had he not just TOLD them? Through his shock, he heard their voices, but was unable to understand anything they were telling him. It was impossible for him to think past the shock of them feeling that his opinion was not the appropriate supporting information for his opinion. How DARE they!?!? The barbarians!
Overwhelmed by the babble noise of these ungrateful wretches, he panicked when he realized that he was in the middle, surrounded. He brought to bear the only weapon at his disposal, the weapon learned and honed by all of the people throughout his life whose words had lowered HIS self esteem. He started lashing out, bringing into question their intelligence and ability to speak. He started throwing out phrases like "circular reasoning" and "sit around congratulating yourselves"... phrases that really did not make sense under the circumstances, but in his panic, were the only ones he could come up with, since they were the ones most frequently thrown at him, by people not willing to buy into his feeble attempts at overcoming the self-esteem damage done by an upbringing which told him he was nothing more than a piece of shit.
The illogical verbal attacks only brought more and more laughter and ridicule from the gathered atheists as they realized that this pathetic attempt at insult was nothing more than the theists way of trying to get himself out of a situation WAY over his head without admitting he had no idea what he was talking about. None pursued him as he left, but were more than happy to laugh at him more as they dodged the continuous flow of poo he flung on his way to the door.
The theist went home feeling completely shaken. He comforted himself by thinking about how evil this 'Atheist' creature is.
As he was walking down the street, a friend of his came up to him and asked how the visit tot he atheists went... he shuddered and said "It was the most horrible experience of my life...I went to them and explained that I only wanted to learn from them and they turned on me and tried to rip out my arms and eyes... then, I noticed that they were in pain and I offered my assistance and they spat upon me. Even then, I still tried to show them my friendship, tried to show them how I was not there to change them, but to envelope them in my tolerance of their ways... they were brutal, savage creatures. "
His friend asked "What are they like?" to which the theist replied "They are small furry creature, with 6 eyes, purple or green fur, 5 arms, 3 legs with no verbal skills. They eat their young and throw poo."
His friend explained that an Atheist is a small furry creature, with 6 eyes, purple or green fur, 5 arms, 3 legs with no verbal skills. The friend told the theist, that the Atheist was estimated to have an intelligence level similar to that of a large rat with horns and that they eat their young. They also throw temper-tantrums and run in circles and throw poop.
This intrigued the theist who decided that he needed to see this for himself, so he made the journey to the Atheist Zoo, completely convinced that if he only told them the magic thing, then they would see the truth and it would magically turn them into REAL (TM) people.
When he got there, he made his way to the main exhibit. There were signs up all over the place, warning people not to antagonize the residents of the exhibit. He thought to himself "Why.. I am not intending to antagonize anyone... I simply intend to ENLIGHTEN them... once I tell them the MAGIC thing, they will be so grateful that they fall over themselves to thank me for saving them from themselves.. they will hail me as a great intellect and make me their leader!"
With that, feeling very virtuous, the theist entered the viewing room and looked around but did not see any 'atheists'. He walked up to a group of people who seemed to be in conversation and asked "Excuse me, but I do not see any atheists... are they on display today?".
The people in the group looked to him and said "Well.. we are atheists.."
"No no.. that can not be true", the theist exclaimed, "You are not small furry creature, with 6 eyes, purple or green fur, 5 arms, 3 legs... and you speak! You can not be atheists!"
One person from the group in discussion, leaned over and told the theist "Ummm.. we know you probably have been told a lot of things about atheist and most of them probably are not true... if you are interested in spending time with us and learning about what we REALLY are like, then we will be happy to talk to you."
Skeptical, the theist did not really believe this, because they all looked like everyone else he know, but decided to explore further to see what these peoples joke was. The theist looked around the viewing room. There was a large table where the so called "atheist' were sitting. There were several chairs, all taken, but there were several of them standing and leaning around the main group. As he watched, several of the atheist came and went in and out of the room and discussion group.
All around the room, there were chairs placed so that newcomers could come and join the conversation. He noticed several people that came into the room would grab an empty chair and pull up to the outskirts of the discussion group, sitting and listening awhile to see what was going on. After a while, they would move their chairs a little deeper into the group and introduce themselves. These people were offered a variety of things, from coffee, tea and muffins, to saws, jackets and divorce lawyers. Once the welcoming ritual had been completely, the theist noted that the newcomer would hesitantly start asking question and offering opinions. The more the newcomer got involved and became more comfortable, the more spirited the discussions got. Many allegiances seemed to shift and sort, but in the end, the fun was in the discussion.
After a short time, the theist decided that it was time to tell these people the Magic Thing. So he waded up to the group, pushing and shoving people out of his way and pushed a person at the centre of the group off the chair he wanted. He took that chair and rapped on the table to get everyone’s attention.
"I am now going to tell you the magic thing. I am sure you have never heard it since you do not think the way I do, but I am certain that you will drop to your knees to thank me when you hear the Magic Thing."
The theist then imparted the Magic Thing and sat back with a satisfied look waiting for the adulation to start. It took him a few seconds to realize that the noise he was hearing was not cheers to him, but some peoples gears. Others were trying to explain to him that this was not new... it had been heard and addressed many times before. The theist knew this could not be true, because if they had heard it before, they would know it was "TRUTH" and they would believe the way he did."
Several of the discussion group tried to explain that his statement, the Magic Thing, was not true and the reasons why. They told him, if you are going to say this is true, then we need something to go on other than "because I say it.." They listed with clarity and logic why his statement was patently not supported and asked him to back up his statement with support for his opinion.
The theist was taken aback... what these atheists were saying was inconceivable. How could they not see the truth? Had he not just TOLD them? Through his shock, he heard their voices, but was unable to understand anything they were telling him. It was impossible for him to think past the shock of them feeling that his opinion was not the appropriate supporting information for his opinion. How DARE they!?!? The barbarians!
Overwhelmed by the babble noise of these ungrateful wretches, he panicked when he realized that he was in the middle, surrounded. He brought to bear the only weapon at his disposal, the weapon learned and honed by all of the people throughout his life whose words had lowered HIS self esteem. He started lashing out, bringing into question their intelligence and ability to speak. He started throwing out phrases like "circular reasoning" and "sit around congratulating yourselves"... phrases that really did not make sense under the circumstances, but in his panic, were the only ones he could come up with, since they were the ones most frequently thrown at him, by people not willing to buy into his feeble attempts at overcoming the self-esteem damage done by an upbringing which told him he was nothing more than a piece of shit.
The illogical verbal attacks only brought more and more laughter and ridicule from the gathered atheists as they realized that this pathetic attempt at insult was nothing more than the theists way of trying to get himself out of a situation WAY over his head without admitting he had no idea what he was talking about. None pursued him as he left, but were more than happy to laugh at him more as they dodged the continuous flow of poo he flung on his way to the door.
The theist went home feeling completely shaken. He comforted himself by thinking about how evil this 'Atheist' creature is.
As he was walking down the street, a friend of his came up to him and asked how the visit tot he atheists went... he shuddered and said "It was the most horrible experience of my life...I went to them and explained that I only wanted to learn from them and they turned on me and tried to rip out my arms and eyes... then, I noticed that they were in pain and I offered my assistance and they spat upon me. Even then, I still tried to show them my friendship, tried to show them how I was not there to change them, but to envelope them in my tolerance of their ways... they were brutal, savage creatures. "
His friend asked "What are they like?" to which the theist replied "They are small furry creature, with 6 eyes, purple or green fur, 5 arms, 3 legs with no verbal skills. They eat their young and throw poo."
Life Changes
I was privileged enough to be invited to read the blog of someone I am beginning to find quite fascinating. In his blog, he wrote an entry about the things he is doing to improve himself and most of what he said struck a cord with me … much of that blog could have been written about me.
In writing to him to tell him that, I found myself subjecting him to a MUCH longer dissertation that I really intended (If you are reading this, sorry about that!)… I guess there was a lot more there waiting to be said than I thought.
Since it seems that this topic is a lot more important to me at this time, I thought I would go ahead and put parts here as well.
****
When I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia (after a year of being told it was all in my head,,, lol) I had the mixed feelings of relief that it actually WAS something and it had a name and devastation because the outlook was so chronically dismal.
I was lucky that I had access to the research being done and found out about the sleep disorder aspect of when that was just being 'discovered' and was able to start right away in dealing with it. I can, with a few adjustments to my normal lifestyle, head it off when it gets going, but that does not stop the occasional bouts of 'why me' and 'this is crap' I get when I get down about things.
{snip irrelevant stuff}
I spent a lot of time right after the divorce restarting my life. For the first 16 months, it was all about getting resettled with house renovations, learning a new job, etc. It was not until last year (around this time) that I realized that I was basically happy with my life, but that there were areas I needed to work on. Mine were very similar to yours in many ways.
The first thing I did was to admit that I needed help with depression. I had been in denial for a long time. One of the most common things people in my situation say is "… I was in denial for a long time, but one I started on the meds, I could not believe I waited so long…" That was me…
It took someone pointing out that I had just gone through all of the major life stressor but one and that one happened three months later. I divorced, I moved to a different state, I bought the farm (in the good way…lol) on my own, new job and had more interaction with a sick parent (enough that I could not remain in denial about that as well). My friend told me that after all of that, it would be odd if I did NOT need meds… So, I bit the bullet and requested the Rx… it was the best thing I ever did.
That helped give me some perspective… the meds are a useful tool to take care of the chemical issues, but realistically, they do not 'solve' a lot of the real issues. I decided to use the clarity the meds gave me to make a plan.
I started loosing weight. I had already lost some, but that was more a bi-product of all the other 'stuff' than a real issue… but it gave me a starting point. I was going to get serious now and I did. Watching what I ate and swimming.
The swimming was part duex. I had gotten sedentary again and I knew that had to stop, since I also know that exercise helps my chemical imbalance… lol … the upshot is that I lost about 50 pounds and started shaping up. I lost my momentum when my Mom died, but I joined a gym this month for the classes. I am concentrating on Yoga and Pilates until I gain some strength (and stamina after being sick) and will then work back up to weights and cardio. I had forgotten how much I love doing yoga… I may have to prop my arms up to type this, since I am pretty sure last nights instructor is a descendant of Attila the Hun, but I am more flexible, damn it!
I also decided I need to get out more and make the effort to make friends. I too am a fairly solitary person. I am happy to be by myself most of the time and I cherish the real friends I have. But I started to see that it was not enough and that my whole life, I had been shortchanging and limiting myself by not making more of an effort to include more people in my life.
It was funny how that one got solved… one day, Opiate69 (from the board) started talking about the battle of the bands he was going to be in in Seattle. I thought to myself "Gee… I wish I could go to… wait a minute… why not!" … So I made arraignments to go. I stayed at the hostel (there is a whole other 'made new friends' story) and went to Amber/Arch/D-Smacks Halloween party. I fell in love with them. I go up about once every 6-weeks and they come here sometimes. I really enjoy being a part of their circle, but… a few weeks ago, it pointed out something else I do not like about myself.
I was on a camping trip with them and a friend of theirs asked me "Are you always this self-contained?" … There was a chorus of "Yes!" all around me. It upset me and I had no idea why. I am still not sure why that was upsetting to me, but I am working on that. I think it may fall under your "Open up to people more…", which actually is why you are getting the story of my current life as a mini-doctoral thesis… {snip} … maybe this is something that happens to all 37 year olds… hehe…
{snip}… Re: "Simplify" concept. I have been working on all the things I have let slide to put them in order. Cleaning-up the minor things on the credit report, getting rid of things, which is a really hard one for me… pack-rat-itis is painful to cure.
Actually, I think it is like alcoholism in that there really is no cure… we can only treat the symptoms. I try to take it a little at a time. I weed out books, keeping only the ones I am sure I can not do without and then go back the next month and weed out more. I finally gave away the 2-years of accumulated grocery bags to the local co-op. New rule… I can only keep 5 around the house. I am giving away most of my yarn. If it is not already committed to a project, OUT DAMN YARN...OUT!
One big one I am working on is being better about meeting obligations. I tend to over promise and disappoint people (and myself) when I have to cancel things. I also procrastinate, but once I decided that most of my procrastination is fear of the unknown, that has been getting better.
One thing about this last couple of years... I have started a million times (ok... maybe a *little* hyperbole) to 'better myself' and always failed at it. This time, from the very start, it was... different. I *knew* from the beginning that, this time, I was going to succeed. I cannot explain the feeling, but there was a commitment to 'the plan' that I had never had before. I still feel that way. When I look forward, I get the same feeling as when you finally decide to jump into that pool and you just DO it, if that makes any sense.
At the same time, I am less ridged... more flexible and forgiving about my lapses (which happen). I no longer see them as failures, just one more change I need to make. I feel like, for the first time, I am in control.
Something else happened when *** died... I became less of a 'nice' person... but I became a much more honest, sincere and REAL person. It was really weird. Where I used to take crap from people just to not cause a scene, or to not make someone feel bad, etc... I no longer do that. I have learned how to be honest and straightforward, instead of avoiding honesty and straightforward for the sake of social comfort. I do not mean that I go out looking for trouble or intentionally embarrass people. One example was actually this morning when someone wanted to gossip about someone else. Normally, I would have listened to them to not cause a flap, but today, I simply said "I really would prefer it if you did not tell me those things. That is really personal between x and y and I am uncomfortable speculating on it." I love feeling like I can do that now.
I am sorry this turned into true confessions, but I found that once I started typing, it was hard to stop. A lot of things here that I had never put into words. I think I may post part of this on my blog as well.
In writing to him to tell him that, I found myself subjecting him to a MUCH longer dissertation that I really intended (If you are reading this, sorry about that!)… I guess there was a lot more there waiting to be said than I thought.
Since it seems that this topic is a lot more important to me at this time, I thought I would go ahead and put parts here as well.
****
When I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia (after a year of being told it was all in my head,,, lol) I had the mixed feelings of relief that it actually WAS something and it had a name and devastation because the outlook was so chronically dismal.
I was lucky that I had access to the research being done and found out about the sleep disorder aspect of when that was just being 'discovered' and was able to start right away in dealing with it. I can, with a few adjustments to my normal lifestyle, head it off when it gets going, but that does not stop the occasional bouts of 'why me' and 'this is crap' I get when I get down about things.
{snip irrelevant stuff}
I spent a lot of time right after the divorce restarting my life. For the first 16 months, it was all about getting resettled with house renovations, learning a new job, etc. It was not until last year (around this time) that I realized that I was basically happy with my life, but that there were areas I needed to work on. Mine were very similar to yours in many ways.
The first thing I did was to admit that I needed help with depression. I had been in denial for a long time. One of the most common things people in my situation say is "… I was in denial for a long time, but one I started on the meds, I could not believe I waited so long…" That was me…
It took someone pointing out that I had just gone through all of the major life stressor but one and that one happened three months later. I divorced, I moved to a different state, I bought the farm (in the good way…lol) on my own, new job and had more interaction with a sick parent (enough that I could not remain in denial about that as well). My friend told me that after all of that, it would be odd if I did NOT need meds… So, I bit the bullet and requested the Rx… it was the best thing I ever did.
That helped give me some perspective… the meds are a useful tool to take care of the chemical issues, but realistically, they do not 'solve' a lot of the real issues. I decided to use the clarity the meds gave me to make a plan.
I started loosing weight. I had already lost some, but that was more a bi-product of all the other 'stuff' than a real issue… but it gave me a starting point. I was going to get serious now and I did. Watching what I ate and swimming.
The swimming was part duex. I had gotten sedentary again and I knew that had to stop, since I also know that exercise helps my chemical imbalance… lol … the upshot is that I lost about 50 pounds and started shaping up. I lost my momentum when my Mom died, but I joined a gym this month for the classes. I am concentrating on Yoga and Pilates until I gain some strength (and stamina after being sick) and will then work back up to weights and cardio. I had forgotten how much I love doing yoga… I may have to prop my arms up to type this, since I am pretty sure last nights instructor is a descendant of Attila the Hun, but I am more flexible, damn it!
I also decided I need to get out more and make the effort to make friends. I too am a fairly solitary person. I am happy to be by myself most of the time and I cherish the real friends I have. But I started to see that it was not enough and that my whole life, I had been shortchanging and limiting myself by not making more of an effort to include more people in my life.
It was funny how that one got solved… one day, Opiate69 (from the board) started talking about the battle of the bands he was going to be in in Seattle. I thought to myself "Gee… I wish I could go to… wait a minute… why not!" … So I made arraignments to go. I stayed at the hostel (there is a whole other 'made new friends' story) and went to Amber/Arch/D-Smacks Halloween party. I fell in love with them. I go up about once every 6-weeks and they come here sometimes. I really enjoy being a part of their circle, but… a few weeks ago, it pointed out something else I do not like about myself.
I was on a camping trip with them and a friend of theirs asked me "Are you always this self-contained?" … There was a chorus of "Yes!" all around me. It upset me and I had no idea why. I am still not sure why that was upsetting to me, but I am working on that. I think it may fall under your "Open up to people more…", which actually is why you are getting the story of my current life as a mini-doctoral thesis… {snip} … maybe this is something that happens to all 37 year olds… hehe…
{snip}… Re: "Simplify" concept. I have been working on all the things I have let slide to put them in order. Cleaning-up the minor things on the credit report, getting rid of things, which is a really hard one for me… pack-rat-itis is painful to cure.
Actually, I think it is like alcoholism in that there really is no cure… we can only treat the symptoms. I try to take it a little at a time. I weed out books, keeping only the ones I am sure I can not do without and then go back the next month and weed out more. I finally gave away the 2-years of accumulated grocery bags to the local co-op. New rule… I can only keep 5 around the house. I am giving away most of my yarn. If it is not already committed to a project, OUT DAMN YARN...OUT!
One big one I am working on is being better about meeting obligations. I tend to over promise and disappoint people (and myself) when I have to cancel things. I also procrastinate, but once I decided that most of my procrastination is fear of the unknown, that has been getting better.
One thing about this last couple of years... I have started a million times (ok... maybe a *little* hyperbole) to 'better myself' and always failed at it. This time, from the very start, it was... different. I *knew* from the beginning that, this time, I was going to succeed. I cannot explain the feeling, but there was a commitment to 'the plan' that I had never had before. I still feel that way. When I look forward, I get the same feeling as when you finally decide to jump into that pool and you just DO it, if that makes any sense.
At the same time, I am less ridged... more flexible and forgiving about my lapses (which happen). I no longer see them as failures, just one more change I need to make. I feel like, for the first time, I am in control.
Something else happened when *** died... I became less of a 'nice' person... but I became a much more honest, sincere and REAL person. It was really weird. Where I used to take crap from people just to not cause a scene, or to not make someone feel bad, etc... I no longer do that. I have learned how to be honest and straightforward, instead of avoiding honesty and straightforward for the sake of social comfort. I do not mean that I go out looking for trouble or intentionally embarrass people. One example was actually this morning when someone wanted to gossip about someone else. Normally, I would have listened to them to not cause a flap, but today, I simply said "I really would prefer it if you did not tell me those things. That is really personal between x and y and I am uncomfortable speculating on it." I love feeling like I can do that now.
I am sorry this turned into true confessions, but I found that once I started typing, it was hard to stop. A lot of things here that I had never put into words. I think I may post part of this on my blog as well.
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