A Parable in Progress

Once upon a time, a theist heard about a zoo that had started collecting an alien species called "Atheist". He asked his friend (who told him about this "Atheist" creature), "What is an atheist?"

His friend explained that an Atheist is a small furry creature, with 6 eyes, purple or green fur, 5 arms, 3 legs with no verbal skills. The friend told the theist, that the Atheist was estimated to have an intelligence level similar to that of a large rat with horns and that they eat their young. They also throw temper-tantrums and run in circles and throw poop.

This intrigued the theist who decided that he needed to see this for himself, so he made the journey to the Atheist Zoo, completely convinced that if he only told them the magic thing, then they would see the truth and it would magically turn them into REAL (TM) people.

When he got there, he made his way to the main exhibit. There were signs up all over the place, warning people not to antagonize the residents of the exhibit. He thought to himself "Why.. I am not intending to antagonize anyone... I simply intend to ENLIGHTEN them... once I tell them the MAGIC thing, they will be so grateful that they fall over themselves to thank me for saving them from themselves.. they will hail me as a great intellect and make me their leader!"

With that, feeling very virtuous, the theist entered the viewing room and looked around but did not see any 'atheists'. He walked up to a group of people who seemed to be in conversation and asked "Excuse me, but I do not see any atheists... are they on display today?".

The people in the group looked to him and said "Well.. we are atheists.."

"No no.. that can not be true", the theist exclaimed, "You are not small furry creature, with 6 eyes, purple or green fur, 5 arms, 3 legs... and you speak! You can not be atheists!"

One person from the group in discussion, leaned over and told the theist "Ummm.. we know you probably have been told a lot of things about atheist and most of them probably are not true... if you are interested in spending time with us and learning about what we REALLY are like, then we will be happy to talk to you."

Skeptical, the theist did not really believe this, because they all looked like everyone else he know, but decided to explore further to see what these peoples joke was. The theist looked around the viewing room. There was a large table where the so called "atheist' were sitting. There were several chairs, all taken, but there were several of them standing and leaning around the main group. As he watched, several of the atheist came and went in and out of the room and discussion group.

All around the room, there were chairs placed so that newcomers could come and join the conversation. He noticed several people that came into the room would grab an empty chair and pull up to the outskirts of the discussion group, sitting and listening awhile to see what was going on. After a while, they would move their chairs a little deeper into the group and introduce themselves. These people were offered a variety of things, from coffee, tea and muffins, to saws, jackets and divorce lawyers. Once the welcoming ritual had been completely, the theist noted that the newcomer would hesitantly start asking question and offering opinions. The more the newcomer got involved and became more comfortable, the more spirited the discussions got. Many allegiances seemed to shift and sort, but in the end, the fun was in the discussion.

After a short time, the theist decided that it was time to tell these people the Magic Thing. So he waded up to the group, pushing and shoving people out of his way and pushed a person at the centre of the group off the chair he wanted. He took that chair and rapped on the table to get everyone’s attention.

"I am now going to tell you the magic thing. I am sure you have never heard it since you do not think the way I do, but I am certain that you will drop to your knees to thank me when you hear the Magic Thing."

The theist then imparted the Magic Thing and sat back with a satisfied look waiting for the adulation to start. It took him a few seconds to realize that the noise he was hearing was not cheers to him, but some peoples gears. Others were trying to explain to him that this was not new... it had been heard and addressed many times before. The theist knew this could not be true, because if they had heard it before, they would know it was "TRUTH" and they would believe the way he did."

Several of the discussion group tried to explain that his statement, the Magic Thing, was not true and the reasons why. They told him, if you are going to say this is true, then we need something to go on other than "because I say it.." They listed with clarity and logic why his statement was patently not supported and asked him to back up his statement with support for his opinion.

The theist was taken aback... what these atheists were saying was inconceivable. How could they not see the truth? Had he not just TOLD them? Through his shock, he heard their voices, but was unable to understand anything they were telling him. It was impossible for him to think past the shock of them feeling that his opinion was not the appropriate supporting information for his opinion. How DARE they!?!? The barbarians!

Overwhelmed by the babble noise of these ungrateful wretches, he panicked when he realized that he was in the middle, surrounded. He brought to bear the only weapon at his disposal, the weapon learned and honed by all of the people throughout his life whose words had lowered HIS self esteem. He started lashing out, bringing into question their intelligence and ability to speak. He started throwing out phrases like "circular reasoning" and "sit around congratulating yourselves"... phrases that really did not make sense under the circumstances, but in his panic, were the only ones he could come up with, since they were the ones most frequently thrown at him, by people not willing to buy into his feeble attempts at overcoming the self-esteem damage done by an upbringing which told him he was nothing more than a piece of shit.

The illogical verbal attacks only brought more and more laughter and ridicule from the gathered atheists as they realized that this pathetic attempt at insult was nothing more than the theists way of trying to get himself out of a situation WAY over his head without admitting he had no idea what he was talking about. None pursued him as he left, but were more than happy to laugh at him more as they dodged the continuous flow of poo he flung on his way to the door.

The theist went home feeling completely shaken. He comforted himself by thinking about how evil this 'Atheist' creature is.

As he was walking down the street, a friend of his came up to him and asked how the visit tot he atheists went... he shuddered and said "It was the most horrible experience of my life...I went to them and explained that I only wanted to learn from them and they turned on me and tried to rip out my arms and eyes... then, I noticed that they were in pain and I offered my assistance and they spat upon me. Even then, I still tried to show them my friendship, tried to show them how I was not there to change them, but to envelope them in my tolerance of their ways... they were brutal, savage creatures. "

His friend asked "What are they like?" to which the theist replied "They are small furry creature, with 6 eyes, purple or green fur, 5 arms, 3 legs with no verbal skills. They eat their young and throw poo."